So apparently the first attempt at righting all of the fashion wrongs at the gym was not as successful as one would have thought. It seems as though the only people who read about the appropriate (or the not-so-appropriate) dress code were the one's following the rules; we had some definite rule breakers last night. And I guess I can't completely blame them - there were definitely some things that I missed. I will now bring to light other fashion faux pas that should be avoided at all cost. First up, flesh-colored socks.
Yes. You heard me right - flesh-colored socks. I have a severe opposition to flesh-colored cotton tube-socks. I understand sneaking a pair of nudey socks under a pair of jeans, or nude no-show socks with a pair of Sperry's (which I may or may not be sporting today). My hatred comes from socks that hit about mid-shin and are worn with shorts! My first encounter with this look was at a car dealership. There was a little boy there in a pair of shorts and these awful, awful socks - in the middle of winter! I turned to Mike immediately and said "our children will never wear nude socks!" And from then on, I have had an adversion to them.
Well, at the gym, I have the pleasure of seeing the same man and his cotton socks every time we are there. He must come straight from work, and like our collared-shirt friends who do not want to dirty a second shirt, this man does not want to dirty another pair of socks. So, he confidently walks through the gym with his flesh-colored cotton tube-socks and his athletic shorts as if he is not looking like a complete dweeb. And those nude socks against his very, very pale skin create quite the juxstaposition. I want to walk up to him and say "Excuse me, sir. Your Vitamin D deficiency is showing." Note to all men who must wear flesh colored socks to work: bring athletic socks to the gym with you - preferrably ankle socks. Thank you in advance.
And how about the girls that work at the Spa in the gym. At our gym, the spa is in the front right corner; the free-weight area is in the back left corner. There is absolutely no reason that the "spa-girls" should be walking in the free-weight area. Zero! So nothing annoys me more than when I am getting my ass kicked by my personal trainer (aka: my hubby), sweating profusely and whining because the weight is too heavy, and these girls come walking by in their spandex pants, their sparkle tanks, and their hooker-heels - an outfit that I find completely inappropriate for work, but quite perfect for a sweet night out at Zero Gravity (a 16-23 year old night club). The teenage boys eat this up, and you hear them saying things like "oh, I like your shoes!" WHAT?? Drop and give me 20 kid. You are missing the point of being at the gym!
Then there are the men that do two reps of bicep-curls and decide to walk a lap around the gym to shake it off. Help me understand why you need to take a stroll in front of the elipitcal machines where the tweens are watching E! News in their Soffe Cheerleading shorts and sport bras? I find that to be the most stupid thing to witness. For those of you out there that think you look cool doing that, I hate to break it to you, but you're all tools.
And grunting!! Oh my gosh. Nothing is more obnoxious than when a group of meat heads come together to outlift one another and, in turn, out moan one another as well. I am sitting at the bench press, minding my own business, when I hear men start communicating to one another via grunts. The first one goes, and we get a RAHHH out of him. Then the next one grabs the same weight, and we hear RAHHHHHH!! Clearly the second guy is stronger than the first because he growled like a grizzly bear a few seconds longer than the first guy. Against my better judgment, I turn to look at the juice heads that are too tan for their own good, and wearing a cut off that exposes both nipples (not a good look). When I catch myself looking, I change my glare to a look of death so that they know how annoying that is. So unattractive, for the record.
It's amazing to me all of the hilarious things that take place at the gym. Yes, I should be focusing on the weights and paying less attention to the people around me. But when you have this much entertainment at every corner, how can you not just take it all in. Thank you, gym-weirdos for providing me with motivation to get through my workout, and reminding me how much cooler I am than you! HA! :)
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