Please, read. Thank you.

What has happened to the existence of manners?  I feel like every day I see something (or a lack of something) that stops me in my tracks.  I didn't grow up in a severly strict home, however, we had basic ground rules that we all had to follow.  Every adult had to be addressed as Mr. or Mrs.  We had to be home in time for dinner every night.  I had to say "Yes, please" and "No, thank you."  It's amazing to me that little things like this are no longer emphasized - or at least they don't appear to be.

Just the other day I was walking into work at the same time as some one else.  I was maybe 20 feet behind them.  I know they saw me in the reflection of the glass doors and I swear they even sped up once they saw how close I really was.  But they opened the door to the building, and instead of waiting the extra 3 seconds for me to get to the doors, they continue walking and let it slam behind them.  I felt like shouting, once I got into the building, Good Morning, but I held it together, and thought that the next time, I will show them how it's done.

And then there are the people who don't say "Thank You" after you just held the door for them and their posse.  How can you see someone standing there, obviously holding the door for you, and not even acknowledge them?  Now I don't hold the door for the "thank you;" I do it because it is the right thing to do.  But eventually, after enough times of being separated from your group because you held the door for an ungrateful human being, I am going to stop being so nice.  I threaten that now, but there is no way I will actually be able to not hold a door for someone.

Along the lack-of-thank-yous line, how about when you let someone go in front of you when you are driving, and they don't so much as give you a head nod?  I am in a rush too.  I am wanting to get home after an insanely long day at the office too, but I take a moment, and I let your stupid car go in front of me.  The least you could do is smile at me!!

Another one of my pet-peeves is eye contact!  When you are talking to someone, look at them.  I know that is a weird concept that may not resonate with you, but look me in my eyes if we are having a discussion.  Don't scan my outfit.  Don't focus on the one piece of hair that might be out of place.  Don't check out my rack (yeah, right).  Look me in the whites of my eyes and speak.  It's not hard.  It's polite.

I don't know if parents are just not teaching their children manners anymore, or if they are just being lost over time.  It's hard to tell who is really at fault here, but I guess it's safe to say that once you are old enough to start making those decisions, then the responsibility inherently relies on you.  All of the examples that were discussed above were instances that took place with adults; grown-ass adults.  Just because your parents didn't teach you to say Thank You, doesn't mean hours of Barney and Sesame Street didn't either.  At some point you have to take responsibility and ownership of your own actions.  If you don't know how to be a nice, respectful citizen, then I suggest you observe others who are and take notes.  A little bit of common sense, goes a long way.  Thank you for reading.

Everyone has brown grass!

When people feel like things aren't going their way, or they have been dealt a tough hand, they tend to say "the grass is always greener on the other side!"  But is it?  You may look over at your neighbor's yard and think that they have the best thing going on.  Their grass may be very green.  Or their yard may be covered in trendy lawn furniture or lawn ornaments.  But if you really take the time to assess their "lawn situation," what would you really see?

Your neighbor's grass may appear green, but how do you know they didn't just spray paint it to look greener than yours?  How do you know that after a hard rain, the water isn't just going to wash away the green spray paint, and what's left is brown grass - way more brown than yours in fact?!  On those beautiful sun-shiney days, the most perfect people in the world just appear more perfect; the most beautiful lawn looks even more beautiful.  But its not about appearing perfect on the sunny days - everyone can do that.  It's about how your weather the storms that come your way.  It's about carrying yourself in a way that allows you to get through those tough storms with dignity and class.  To not hide behind the spray paint, but to embrace the imperfections of your lawn, and embrace the rainy days that make your lawn stronger. 

The same is true with those lawn ornaments.  If you remove all of the beautiful lawn furniture, you know what's left underneath it?  Dead, brown grass.  People may carry nice bags, or wear nice jewelry, and drive nice cars, but if you take all of that away, what is left?  Chances are you are faced with a big, fake jerk.  People hide behind nice things; they measure their success through the acquisition of nice things, but for what?  A cute pair of jeans or a nice pair of shoes should only enhance the the character, not make the character.  Think about that the next time you see someone pass by you with a bunch of accessories on; what are they trying to overcompensate for?

I realize I may have taken the whole "green grass" analogy a little too far, but there is a lot to be said about recognizing what you have before wishing you had something else.  Short people want to be tall, tall people want to be short, straight haired people want curls, and vice versa.  But just know that you are the envy of someone else, and that everyone has brown grass! 

Don't fear change. Do it!

Do you ever feel like your life is a series of routines?  You wake up at the same time every day, you take the same route to work every day, you expect the same people to email you with the same complaints, you go home, and you do it all over again?  Routine after routine after routine.  This type of consistency can get boring, so we may find ourselves itching for a little shake-up.  But be careful what you wish for; change it is a-comin'!!

There is a lot to be said about having a routine.  You can stay organized a little easier (if you choose to be organized in the first place - but thats a whole other issue).  Your friends and family have familiarity with what's going on in your life, so they always know when or where to find you.  You learn to use the least amount of energy to complete a task because you know who will be looking out for you.  You also know when to kick it into high gear, and who might be watching you.  You know when your boss is going to be come by for a mysterious piece of candy.  You know when days are going to suck, you know when days are going to be easy to get through.  All of these things can be appreciated - if you wish to appreciate them. 

It's when all of this routine goes away, when you actually shake things up, and you have to find the balance - that's what makes people fearful.  But for what?  Why does change have to be so bad?  Scary yes, because you don't know what the future may hold.  But bad?  I disagree. 

I started a new job this month!  Woop woop!  It's very exciting to be in a place where I feel like I am stretching my brain again.  It's also terrifying because I am no longer complacent.  I no longer know what my day is going to look like.  I have to re-learn my routines, and for someone who is very much Type A, re-working something that seemed to have been working just fine in the first place, sucks!!  But this too shall pass.  And my new routines will become second nature, and I'll be back to that perfect balance.

There are some people that adapt very well to change; there are others that are not so good at it.  The problem, I think, lies in the fact that change has such a negative connotation.  People are afraid of the unknown.  But change isn't always bad.  Like this new job - this change is phenomenal.  All of the little changes that come with the big change can be trying, but overall the change is good.  So why is it that "change" has been deemed evil, and people fear it?  Is it that we have seen change depicted negatively throughout our years?  Do our parents or our parents parents resist change?

Whatever it is that might make you afraid of making a change, face it!  I have seen some incredible and amazing things happen when people choose to look change in the face.  I have been introduced to some pretty awesome people as a result of change - both personally and professionally.  So why not embrace change?  Let's shake up our own lives, and start new routines together.  What do we have to lose?

The Perfect Jean

Women - have you ever noticed how many pairs of jeans you actually have in your closet at this very moment?  And men - have you ever noticed how few pairs of jeans you have in yours?  It's no secret that women (in general) have a spending problem.  I could look at my closet full of jeans and with a straight face say to Mike, "I need new jeans!"  It makes perfect sense to me, and to my girlfriends I am sure.  But to Mike, this sounds like the most ridiculous thing anyone could say.

In a few weeks our office is going to be hosting a "Jeans Week."  My initial thought was panic, as I was worried about having 5 different pairs of jeans to wear that week.  Again, this thought may seem irrational to the average male who would simply say, Okay, I will double up a couple pair of jeans; no biggie!  For women, this means having to identify five different pairs of jeans that can be worn all week.  The fact that we even have five different pairs of jeans (most of us more) to wear in a week may throw some for a loop, so I will explain why we need different pairs and how the closet full of denim came to be.

The first pair of jeans every woman should have her in closet is the "My ass looks great in those jeans" jeans.  Now, I have been asked "Why would you buy a pair of jeans that don't make your butt look good?"  That is a great question.  Not all jeans fit the rump the same way.  Sometimes you buy jeans for comfort.  Other times you buy them to make your butt look phenomenal.  I wish every jean had the ability to do that, but frankly, they don't.  Every girl should have at least one pair of jeans that makes their ass look great, and that they can wear a shirt that doesn't cover their butt.

Next up, "I am rocking 4.5 inch heels today" jeans.  Being a short person, I have tons of high heels - all of which range in height.  This can create issues when you are shopping for jeans as you are limited to what heels can be worn with which denim.  You don't want to look like you are about to go into a flood zone, and you certainly don't want to be dragging your heels, so you have to buy the jeans to fit your shoes.  I love my Jessica Simpson Parigi heels, which are 4.5 inches tall.  I have one pair of jeans that I can wear with those shoes...jeans that I absolutely love!!  I will wear them one day during Jeans Week.

Third, "I am not wearing those skinny jeans" skinny jeans.  I must have said that I would never buy a pair of skinny jeans over a dozen times.  I just never though I had the figure for them.  But then I figured out what shoes look great and what top to pair it with and I was changed woman.  A good pair of skinny jeans can be very trendy with a great boot.  Or the same skinny jeans can be worn with a pair of heels to dress the look up.  Even if you don't think you are a "skinny jeans" kind of gal, get a pair, try them on with the right accessories, and you will be a believe too.

Next on the list, "I look very corporate in these jeans" jeans.  These are the jeans that you bought specifically for work; the one's where when you tried them on you said, "Yupp, I look good and I can wear these to work."  These jeans don't make your ass look bad, but they were not purchased to enhance the goods.  They were a simple buy that you intended on wearing to work maybe with a blazer or something else "corporate."  These jeans are nothing special, but they get the job done.

Last, but certainly not least, "I am so over wearing heels, I must rock the flats" jeans.  Women have to have these jeans in their closet for those days that you just don't feel like walking in heels.  Everyone has those moments - even me who will wear a pair of heels to the grocery store if I am feeling frisky enough!  I love high heels because they make you feel good.  But sometimes, the week has been rough, you don't feel like rocking a platform, so you pull out the Tory Burch flats and you go! 

Then there are of course the partners to all of these jeans - the dark wash and the light wash of all of the above.  There are the distressed jeans (which we have previously discussed do not belong in the workplace).  There are white jeans, black jeans, pink jeans (love), etc.  In short, a girl can never have too many jeans!!  So I hereby give you persmission to go out there and find the perfect jeans for every occassion and don't apologize to anyone for it!

Rules of the Office

There are certain things that must be taken into consideration when you work in an office building.  It doesn't matter if you are bound to a cubicle for the rest of your life, or if you have a corner office with a view.  If we all have to live in harmony in a shared offce space, then we must all be aware of simple office rules.

For starters, steer clear of all things smelly!  Some people must think that their cubes have walls that go all the way up to the ceiling and that they have doors; that's the only explanation I can think of when it comes to people and their stinky "things."  There are women (and men) that come to the office with the most pungent smelling perfume/cologne in the mornings that you have to wonder if they spilled the bottle?   Then after a trip to the washroom, women pile on the baby-powder or rose-scented lotion and it completely overtakes the area. And smelly food!!  People who eat eggs and hot sauce in the morning make me want to never eat again (which may not be that bad of a fate given all of the weddings that are coming up in the next 18-months or so, but I digress).  The smell of fried eggs is overwhelming and nasty!!  Or ketchup!?  Another smell that does not sit well in a cubicle.  And onions!  Man the list goes on and on.  Think twice before ordering that gourmet meal to go.  It may be worth spending the extra 10 mins in the cafeteria eating instead of bringing it back to your desk.  You may not earn more friends, but you'll get less enemies this way.  Trust me.

Next on the list, volume control, or lack there of.  I am loud.  I am loud in real life, and I am loud on the phone.  But I try my darndest to be aware of it and to make sure that I talk behind the barrier of my cublicle walls.  There are some people that insist on pacing in their cubes when they are talking to people; these are also the same people that have no self-awareness and shout into the receiver.  And then there are the people who insist on taking conference calls on speaker phones!!  What is that about?  Guess what?!  It is obnoxious...and this goes for people in cubes, and people in offices that refuse to close their doors!  We don't care about the call and we certainly don't care that you are on the call.  Shut your door or use your receiver.  Problem solved.

And while we are on the topic of volume control, let's talk about appropriateness of conversation in the workplace.  It's one thing to whisper something scandolous to your work-BFF; in fact I encourage it!  It is quite another to yell over the cubes to one another about your plans for the weekend - especially if you are too old (and too ugly) to be doing the things you are discussing.  It's amazing to me some of the things that people feel is okay to discuss at work.  They must think that it makes them "cool" or something.  Newsflash: you're gross whether you talk about it or not.  You're just even more gross when you do talk about it.

Lastly, don't forget to turn your ringer off on your cell phone.  Far too often people forget to silence their cell phones, they leave their desk to go to a meeting, and their cell phone keeps ringing and ringing and ringing.  Or worse, they get text messages all day and you keep hearing their chime (or in the case of my office, their seagulls chirpping!  Yes, a woman has seagulls as her text message notification, and yes, she is one that does not turn off her ringer...ever).  Put your phone on silent or vibrate.  I think this one can stand on its own without a lengthy explanation as to why.

Having to share a work space with several people (some of which have total disregard for their surroundings) can be a really big nuissance.  As long as you are aware of how you can improve your participation in the communal space, hopefully others will follow suit.  Good luck out there today!

Let's free white pants from Purgatory!

So yesterday was the first day after Labor Day.  You would think that people would ask how each other's weekends were?  What we did to celebrate the occassion?  How much we are looking forward to fall?  You know the usual conversation that takes place after a long holiday weekend.  But no.  The conversations I beared witness to were about white after Labor Day. People were tweeting about it on Monday.  They were Facebooking about it.  So I figured I might as well blog about it and give my opinion. 

White after Labor Day is absolutely allowable...with some conditions. 

1) White denim is more apporpriate after Labor Day than a pair of white dress pants; and I am not talking about "winter white" dress pants - I mean crisp, white dress pants.  Someone who wears white dress pants look like they just walked out of an ad for Easter Brunch at the local Marriott - a great look for May through August.  Very trendy and cute.  But, white denim after Labor Day shows that you don't care about stupid rules and you are rocking a cute pair of pants for fall. 

2) If you look out the window in the morning and it is pouring rain, you should leave your white pants at home.  If you look out the window and the ground is covered in white snow (which we all know will eventually turn into nasty, brown snow) you should leave your white pants at home.

3) You should never, ever, EVER rock a pair of white patent leather heels.  That ship has sailed!  White leather pumps were once "cool" (and I use that term loosely), but I don't see them ever making a comeback...and if they do, please do not wear them around me.  I may have to smack you!

Honestly, I don't think the issue should be whether or not white pants are allowed after Labor Day; the issue should be whether or not certain people should be allowed to wear white pants at all!!  White pants in general can be very scary.  It is important that you recognize that white pants are completely and utterly unforgiving.  What you can get away with in a cute pair of black pants, is not the same as what you can get away with in white pants.  It totally sucks, but its totally true.  It is worth spending a little extra cash to buy lined white pants.  It will do wonders.  It is also worth spending a little extra cash on some Spanx should you decide that tight white pants is what you want; remember, what you want, may not be what the rest of us want too.  Wearing white pants is a privelege, not a right (okay, that's a little harsh, but you know what I mean), so tread lightly, and think of the people that will have to look at you during the day. 

After all of this, I say if you own a fabulous pair of white denim (like Whitney or me) then you rock it!  Don't retire those pants through the winter - flaunt them.  Pair the pants with a fabulous sweater and some amazing boots and you go.  Today, my fellow friends, we are freeing white pants from Purgatory!!  Stacy and Clinton would be so proud...