Rules of the Office

There are certain things that must be taken into consideration when you work in an office building.  It doesn't matter if you are bound to a cubicle for the rest of your life, or if you have a corner office with a view.  If we all have to live in harmony in a shared offce space, then we must all be aware of simple office rules.

For starters, steer clear of all things smelly!  Some people must think that their cubes have walls that go all the way up to the ceiling and that they have doors; that's the only explanation I can think of when it comes to people and their stinky "things."  There are women (and men) that come to the office with the most pungent smelling perfume/cologne in the mornings that you have to wonder if they spilled the bottle?   Then after a trip to the washroom, women pile on the baby-powder or rose-scented lotion and it completely overtakes the area. And smelly food!!  People who eat eggs and hot sauce in the morning make me want to never eat again (which may not be that bad of a fate given all of the weddings that are coming up in the next 18-months or so, but I digress).  The smell of fried eggs is overwhelming and nasty!!  Or ketchup!?  Another smell that does not sit well in a cubicle.  And onions!  Man the list goes on and on.  Think twice before ordering that gourmet meal to go.  It may be worth spending the extra 10 mins in the cafeteria eating instead of bringing it back to your desk.  You may not earn more friends, but you'll get less enemies this way.  Trust me.

Next on the list, volume control, or lack there of.  I am loud.  I am loud in real life, and I am loud on the phone.  But I try my darndest to be aware of it and to make sure that I talk behind the barrier of my cublicle walls.  There are some people that insist on pacing in their cubes when they are talking to people; these are also the same people that have no self-awareness and shout into the receiver.  And then there are the people who insist on taking conference calls on speaker phones!!  What is that about?  Guess what?!  It is obnoxious...and this goes for people in cubes, and people in offices that refuse to close their doors!  We don't care about the call and we certainly don't care that you are on the call.  Shut your door or use your receiver.  Problem solved.

And while we are on the topic of volume control, let's talk about appropriateness of conversation in the workplace.  It's one thing to whisper something scandolous to your work-BFF; in fact I encourage it!  It is quite another to yell over the cubes to one another about your plans for the weekend - especially if you are too old (and too ugly) to be doing the things you are discussing.  It's amazing to me some of the things that people feel is okay to discuss at work.  They must think that it makes them "cool" or something.  Newsflash: you're gross whether you talk about it or not.  You're just even more gross when you do talk about it.

Lastly, don't forget to turn your ringer off on your cell phone.  Far too often people forget to silence their cell phones, they leave their desk to go to a meeting, and their cell phone keeps ringing and ringing and ringing.  Or worse, they get text messages all day and you keep hearing their chime (or in the case of my office, their seagulls chirpping!  Yes, a woman has seagulls as her text message notification, and yes, she is one that does not turn off her ringer...ever).  Put your phone on silent or vibrate.  I think this one can stand on its own without a lengthy explanation as to why.

Having to share a work space with several people (some of which have total disregard for their surroundings) can be a really big nuissance.  As long as you are aware of how you can improve your participation in the communal space, hopefully others will follow suit.  Good luck out there today!