The English language is tough! Those of us who have English as our first language probably take it for granted, but for those individuals where English is a second, or even a third language, I have no idea how they do it!? And us English speakers don't make it easy on those that are learning. I mean even having English as my first (and at this point my only language...sorry Sra. Lane) I still get confused by the stupid stuff people say!! There are common phrases in the English language that if we actually broke it down verbatum, like those learning English sometimes do, then they would make no sense to us either! Let's try a couple on for size...
You are giving directions to someone, and you say "Oh its right to the left of the tree!" Hmmm...let's think about this. Is it to the right of the tree? Is it it to the left of the tree? Why do we feel the need to throw in two directional words in the same sentence?
How about "It's a little bigger." This one actually makes some sense. It's not a lot bigger than some thing else; the item is just a little bit bigger. It's just a funny phrase because we put two nouns next to one another that are complete opposites, and yet it desribes the size of the item in comparison to another.
And then there's "It's starting to stop raining." This phrase is garbage (but I may or may not have said it last night). Can you actually start to stop? I mean I guess you can, but the phrase would make much more sense and would be much clearer if we just said "I think the rain is letting up." Instead we complicate the situation with our insane jargon.
But speaking in nonsense is much less comical than reading nonsense. If you say something weird, people make look at you funny, but most of the time they can pick up on what you are saying. However, if you write something down (say, in an email) and it makes no sense at all, you are bound to be haunted by the nonsensical verbiage for life. I know this to be true because I have beared witness to some of the most horrendously written emails ever! And some of you reading this have also been subject to these emails. In my opninion, there is no excuse for a poorly written email.
Email gives you the opportunity to clearly and concisely make your point. If you choose not to engage in this privilege, then you are going to look like a jackass...plain and simple. Emailing back and forth with your buddies is one thing - having perfect grammar and punctuation is not necessary. But if you are writing a professional email and your signature on that email references your company, then you owe it to the business, and to yourself, to make sense when you hit send. Period. You are a reflection of the company you work for, and the fellow employees. If you send an email to an internal or external customer and your email makes no sense, shame on you!! Use spell check. Re-read your work. Slow down!!! All of these things are what make email so nice. Even the worst speaker in the world can have the chance to make a great point in an email. So don't be that idiot. Trust me...if your email is poorly written and down right junk, it will get forwarded and people will see it. If your email is perfect, then it's boring, and no one will pass it on or make fun of you. You can choose your own destiny...so choose wisely!
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Facebook Etiquette
Social networking has played a major role in our lives for quite some time. First there was MySpace (which was a bandwagon I never jumped on), then there was Facebook (when it was only open to college students, and only at certain schools), then Twitter, Google+, etc. What started out as a little fad, has grown into a full on addiction - and I mean that. Now Facebook is a bookmark on my iPad, iPhone, my MacBook, my work computer, my Blackberry, etc. I have to feel in touch with everyone, even if it doesn't involve me posting or commenting. I just like to know whats going on...period. Because I find myself on Facebook so frequently, I thought I would take some time to review some Facebook etiquette through my eyes.
First up, "Liking" something vs. "Commenting." It is generally a good idea to follow what the masses do. For instance, if someone posts a picture and people start commenting on it, then by all means, comment away. But if 8 people have "liked" the picture, you should follow suit. Don't be that one person that writes, "Oh how cute?" because then the 8 people before you get an email (if their commnunication settings are set this way) letting us know that you think its cute. Your comment added absolutely nothing to the picture. Go with the "Like" in this instance as it is fitting.
Next, do not have a conversation on my wall/picture. There is nothing more annoying than when two people have a full on conversation on Facebook, especially when it is on my wall. You know what I mean right? You post a picture, someone comments about the event maybe. And then someone else comments on that comment and the rest is history? A few hours later you look back at your post and there 23 comments from these two people which started out as two individual comments, but later became an exchange of life catch-up! Don't waste my time. And please, don't fill up my inbox with that crap.
Third, delete duplicate Profile pictures! Okay so you found the perfect picture to represent your hotness on Facebook. You post that picture. Then a few weeks later you change it up with a group shot. Then you decide you are over the group shot and you want to go back to the hotty picture. Well if you add that to your profile again, then you now have three pics in your profile history - two of which are the same. Delete one. It's hysterical when people have 97 profile pictures and 40 of them are the exact same picture. I like to keep things organized, so here is one way you can do it too!
Fourth, be very careful about your wall posts. Even if you are trying to be funny, sarcastic, or even a plain jerk - just know that people see it. You don't want to come off as a complete jackass because you decided to be insensitive. Along the same lines of wall posts, do not write something vague/ambiguous on purpose so that people ask you what's wrong! Or worse, get mad when people do ask you. Example: "Such a great day!! So happy about what happened!" Alright, of course people are going to wonder what happened. But then you don't tell them. Or you get annoyed when they ask you. Don't post that if you don't want people to ask. Plain and simple. And - post things on Facebook that are worthy of news. If you wouldn't give a crap that I was taking a shower, chances are, we don't care that you are either!
My list could go on and on. Despite all of these things that annoy me, I will continue to be an avid Facebook stalker. I will continue to add the app to all of my devices. Nothing about Facebook is annoying enough to stop its use all together. I just thought I would make known the little things that drive me nuts. Do with it what you will...
First up, "Liking" something vs. "Commenting." It is generally a good idea to follow what the masses do. For instance, if someone posts a picture and people start commenting on it, then by all means, comment away. But if 8 people have "liked" the picture, you should follow suit. Don't be that one person that writes, "Oh how cute?" because then the 8 people before you get an email (if their commnunication settings are set this way) letting us know that you think its cute. Your comment added absolutely nothing to the picture. Go with the "Like" in this instance as it is fitting.
Next, do not have a conversation on my wall/picture. There is nothing more annoying than when two people have a full on conversation on Facebook, especially when it is on my wall. You know what I mean right? You post a picture, someone comments about the event maybe. And then someone else comments on that comment and the rest is history? A few hours later you look back at your post and there 23 comments from these two people which started out as two individual comments, but later became an exchange of life catch-up! Don't waste my time. And please, don't fill up my inbox with that crap.
Third, delete duplicate Profile pictures! Okay so you found the perfect picture to represent your hotness on Facebook. You post that picture. Then a few weeks later you change it up with a group shot. Then you decide you are over the group shot and you want to go back to the hotty picture. Well if you add that to your profile again, then you now have three pics in your profile history - two of which are the same. Delete one. It's hysterical when people have 97 profile pictures and 40 of them are the exact same picture. I like to keep things organized, so here is one way you can do it too!
Fourth, be very careful about your wall posts. Even if you are trying to be funny, sarcastic, or even a plain jerk - just know that people see it. You don't want to come off as a complete jackass because you decided to be insensitive. Along the same lines of wall posts, do not write something vague/ambiguous on purpose so that people ask you what's wrong! Or worse, get mad when people do ask you. Example: "Such a great day!! So happy about what happened!" Alright, of course people are going to wonder what happened. But then you don't tell them. Or you get annoyed when they ask you. Don't post that if you don't want people to ask. Plain and simple. And - post things on Facebook that are worthy of news. If you wouldn't give a crap that I was taking a shower, chances are, we don't care that you are either!
My list could go on and on. Despite all of these things that annoy me, I will continue to be an avid Facebook stalker. I will continue to add the app to all of my devices. Nothing about Facebook is annoying enough to stop its use all together. I just thought I would make known the little things that drive me nuts. Do with it what you will...
Friday, August 26, 2011
It's my birthday...and I'll do NOTHING if I want to!
Yes, world. It is in fact my birthday. But not just any birthday...it is my Golden Birthday! Turning 26 on the 26th! I know its not THAT big of a deal, but I take every chance I get to take a little celebration and make it GIGANTIC. This is going to sound like a surprise to a lot of you, but I love when things are all about me...the irony in all of this, is that I was nervous as hell (tears even) on my wedding day because it was all about me. Go figure. Well anyways, I have successfully spent the last 5 days at work completely unmotivated to do any sort of work, and I didn't feel bad about it for one second. I work really hard (most of the time) so I gave myself a little bit of a break this week.
It's funny because birthdays are kind of like vacations. The anticipation of them coming is awesome. You think about how much fun you are going to have celebrating with friends and family. You look forward to it all week long. Then your birthday comes, the day is amazing (or several days if you know how to milk it), and then its all over. You are officially one year older, and you have to wait another 365 days until your birthday comes around again. At this point, I am still embracing the birthday, but pretty soon I will stop keeping track and it will become just another day on the calendar.
So with each birthday, you can't help but ruminate on how much (or how little) has changed since the prior year. Last year at this time, I was engaged...freaking out about the impending wedding. We had only been in our house a few months. We didn't have Finn yet. I was driving an orange SUV (I miss that car, but not the paint job). I was in a good place, but I was stressed. Now thinking about this year, we still don't have art on our walls. The bathroom has been painted (and repainted). I still can't drive a manual car. My hair is a lot longer. My friendships are stronger. And we are happily married.
I am excited to see what this year will bring. New ventures in our personal life. New ventures in work. I love getting a blank slate and getting to start over. I have to deal with the fact that I am now a cougar for the next 4 months as Mike is, and will always be, younger than me; a reality that may take a life time to accept.
But at any rate, bring on 26...this is going to be my best year yet!! :)
It's funny because birthdays are kind of like vacations. The anticipation of them coming is awesome. You think about how much fun you are going to have celebrating with friends and family. You look forward to it all week long. Then your birthday comes, the day is amazing (or several days if you know how to milk it), and then its all over. You are officially one year older, and you have to wait another 365 days until your birthday comes around again. At this point, I am still embracing the birthday, but pretty soon I will stop keeping track and it will become just another day on the calendar.
So with each birthday, you can't help but ruminate on how much (or how little) has changed since the prior year. Last year at this time, I was engaged...freaking out about the impending wedding. We had only been in our house a few months. We didn't have Finn yet. I was driving an orange SUV (I miss that car, but not the paint job). I was in a good place, but I was stressed. Now thinking about this year, we still don't have art on our walls. The bathroom has been painted (and repainted). I still can't drive a manual car. My hair is a lot longer. My friendships are stronger. And we are happily married.
I am excited to see what this year will bring. New ventures in our personal life. New ventures in work. I love getting a blank slate and getting to start over. I have to deal with the fact that I am now a cougar for the next 4 months as Mike is, and will always be, younger than me; a reality that may take a life time to accept.
But at any rate, bring on 26...this is going to be my best year yet!! :)
Thursday, August 25, 2011
The end of "Junderwear"...for now
Well, transition time is upon us. The days have officially started to get shorter. The sun is slowly going down sooner each night. The mornings are a little darker when I get ready in the mornings. And on my drive into work, the sun is perfectly centered at my eye level...just below where the visor hits the windshield, so I have to squint really hard, which gives me wrinkles on my forehead. Rahhh!!
The teeny, tiny summer clothes (and I mean TEENY TINY) are on sale at all of the stores making room for fall-attire which is, by far, my favorite season to dress for! I can't tell you how ready I am to see the skanky "jorts" worn by all of the tweens out there put into a closet never to be seen again. I swear shorts have gotten so much shorter than when we were kids. The more of the pocket liner that you can see sticking out of the bottom of the short, the cuter they are these days! It is completely irrational. And the stores are enabling this behavior. Hello stores?! Haven't you heard of inner thighs??? Not all of us can walk around in "junderwear" (jean underwear). Can you please make a pair of shorts with a decent inseam??
We can officially put away our tank tops (my least favorite article of clothing) and bust out the cute cotton sweaters, and of course the sweatshirts. We can start moving the open-toed shoes to the back of the closet and the Ugg boots to the front. We can go back to shaving our legs every couple of days instead of every day because we are no longer expected to wear shorts and skirts (sorry guys). We can stop obsessing about our bikini bods...not that I ever did in the first place. Just avoid bathing suits all together and you've got it made.
Kiddies are heading off to school, which means there is an influx of school buses. But given that we are still in transition from summer to fall, we still have the lawn trucks/trailors on the road too! Oh and don't forget the soccer moms in the over-sized SUVs and their "Baby on Board" suction cupped signs. All in all, this does not bode well for my commute both in the mornings and in the afternoons. My saving grace is that the weather is so phenomenal right now, I can open the windows on my drive and enjoy the fresh air!
But with this transition, comes the realization that summer is ending, our incredibly short fall will be here soon, followed by the never-ending winter months. I am not sure we can do any worse than we did last year, and I sure hope Mother Nature doesn't try to out-do herself. Winters in the midwest are painfully long, and they are made even longer with a losing football team (c'mon Bears...do something for Chicago this year because we certainly don't have any other team to be rooting for at this time). So here's to the last few nights of summer, the amazing fall that lies ahead, and the attrocious winter that stands before us! Our fait accompli is that at least we don't have to look at teeny-bopper butt cheeks for another 9 months! Woop Woop!!
The teeny, tiny summer clothes (and I mean TEENY TINY) are on sale at all of the stores making room for fall-attire which is, by far, my favorite season to dress for! I can't tell you how ready I am to see the skanky "jorts" worn by all of the tweens out there put into a closet never to be seen again. I swear shorts have gotten so much shorter than when we were kids. The more of the pocket liner that you can see sticking out of the bottom of the short, the cuter they are these days! It is completely irrational. And the stores are enabling this behavior. Hello stores?! Haven't you heard of inner thighs??? Not all of us can walk around in "junderwear" (jean underwear). Can you please make a pair of shorts with a decent inseam??
We can officially put away our tank tops (my least favorite article of clothing) and bust out the cute cotton sweaters, and of course the sweatshirts. We can start moving the open-toed shoes to the back of the closet and the Ugg boots to the front. We can go back to shaving our legs every couple of days instead of every day because we are no longer expected to wear shorts and skirts (sorry guys). We can stop obsessing about our bikini bods...not that I ever did in the first place. Just avoid bathing suits all together and you've got it made.
Kiddies are heading off to school, which means there is an influx of school buses. But given that we are still in transition from summer to fall, we still have the lawn trucks/trailors on the road too! Oh and don't forget the soccer moms in the over-sized SUVs and their "Baby on Board" suction cupped signs. All in all, this does not bode well for my commute both in the mornings and in the afternoons. My saving grace is that the weather is so phenomenal right now, I can open the windows on my drive and enjoy the fresh air!
But with this transition, comes the realization that summer is ending, our incredibly short fall will be here soon, followed by the never-ending winter months. I am not sure we can do any worse than we did last year, and I sure hope Mother Nature doesn't try to out-do herself. Winters in the midwest are painfully long, and they are made even longer with a losing football team (c'mon Bears...do something for Chicago this year because we certainly don't have any other team to be rooting for at this time). So here's to the last few nights of summer, the amazing fall that lies ahead, and the attrocious winter that stands before us! Our fait accompli is that at least we don't have to look at teeny-bopper butt cheeks for another 9 months! Woop Woop!!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Life lessons proven wrong
We've all heard the expressions "look before you leap" or "slow and steady wins the race." Those are all nice sayings that we occassionally will remember, but have you actually thought about what they mean? As much as our parents were trying to instill in us a sense of self-awareness and patience, I am here to tell you that those sayings are CRAP! :) If you actually sit down and think about them, you will most likely agree with me. Let's see what you think...
Slow and steady wins the race. - False. If you are slow, you will lose. Period. You must learn to be fast. You must learn to be fast and steady. Life doesn't wait for people who are slow, taking their time, etc. You must learn to be efficient and quick at it. It's the harsh reality of the world we live in. We are a society where instant gratification is the only standard. People have developed an expectation of immediacy, and we must deliver.
The early bird gets the worm. - False. The early bird may get the worm, but he also gets the stink eye when he leaves earlier than everyone else. I am an early riser, and I like being the first one in in the mornings. However, because I get here so early, I also get to leave earlier. Well of course, people who get to work two hours after you have no idea that you have been busting your a** since before the sun came up, and that you earned the right to head out before them. If you are going to be an early bird, just prepare yourself for the insinuations that could follow. Your parents never told you that.
Treat others the way you would like to be treated. - False. I have had the pleasure of working with some pretty "eclectic" (which for me is going to be the PC way of saying "dumb") people in my lifetime. When I come into contact with these dummies, I tend to treat them as such. I, however, do not wish to be treated like a dummy! I want to be treated like the successful, hardworking individual that I am. Therein lies the problem. If you treat someone like they are incompetent, its because they are; it's not because you want to be treated that way. You see what I mean?? This is a tough one that I just don't buy.
Look before you leap. - False. If you look before you take a leap of faith, then you are just messing with fate. Sometimes you just have to go for it. Don't think about what may be below you. Don't think about what might happen. Just do it. Not everything needs to be pre-meditated and planned. Some things in life are worth leaping for; now if only I could heed my own advice, but thats a whole other issue.
I don't mean to be a "debbie-downer." I am more of a mercurial realist - an upbeat personality mixed with the harsh reality of it all. In fact, my hubby and I had this conversation over the weekend. People will ask you "Are you glass half full or a glass half empty kind of person?" Mike is, far and away, a glass half-full kind of guy. Thank goodness for people like him.
As for me, Mike and I both agreed that I am neither!! He says that my mentality is "Why is this glass only filled half way?"; that instead of just looking at the glass and accepting it for what it's worth, I overanalyze, and I get angry that the glass is not full. This could be the best explanation of who I am as a person that I have ever heard. My thoughts were that I am neither half empty or half full. I would look at an 8oz. glass of water and say "Oh, there are 4 oz. in the glass." Very matter-of-fact. Very straightforward. Neither here, nor there. It's just how I am programmed. I am thankful to surround myself with people that look on the brightside; but at the end of the day, I am going to tell you like it is - even if it is behind the facade of this blog. It works for me!!
Slow and steady wins the race. - False. If you are slow, you will lose. Period. You must learn to be fast. You must learn to be fast and steady. Life doesn't wait for people who are slow, taking their time, etc. You must learn to be efficient and quick at it. It's the harsh reality of the world we live in. We are a society where instant gratification is the only standard. People have developed an expectation of immediacy, and we must deliver.
The early bird gets the worm. - False. The early bird may get the worm, but he also gets the stink eye when he leaves earlier than everyone else. I am an early riser, and I like being the first one in in the mornings. However, because I get here so early, I also get to leave earlier. Well of course, people who get to work two hours after you have no idea that you have been busting your a** since before the sun came up, and that you earned the right to head out before them. If you are going to be an early bird, just prepare yourself for the insinuations that could follow. Your parents never told you that.
Treat others the way you would like to be treated. - False. I have had the pleasure of working with some pretty "eclectic" (which for me is going to be the PC way of saying "dumb") people in my lifetime. When I come into contact with these dummies, I tend to treat them as such. I, however, do not wish to be treated like a dummy! I want to be treated like the successful, hardworking individual that I am. Therein lies the problem. If you treat someone like they are incompetent, its because they are; it's not because you want to be treated that way. You see what I mean?? This is a tough one that I just don't buy.
Look before you leap. - False. If you look before you take a leap of faith, then you are just messing with fate. Sometimes you just have to go for it. Don't think about what may be below you. Don't think about what might happen. Just do it. Not everything needs to be pre-meditated and planned. Some things in life are worth leaping for; now if only I could heed my own advice, but thats a whole other issue.
I don't mean to be a "debbie-downer." I am more of a mercurial realist - an upbeat personality mixed with the harsh reality of it all. In fact, my hubby and I had this conversation over the weekend. People will ask you "Are you glass half full or a glass half empty kind of person?" Mike is, far and away, a glass half-full kind of guy. Thank goodness for people like him.
As for me, Mike and I both agreed that I am neither!! He says that my mentality is "Why is this glass only filled half way?"; that instead of just looking at the glass and accepting it for what it's worth, I overanalyze, and I get angry that the glass is not full. This could be the best explanation of who I am as a person that I have ever heard. My thoughts were that I am neither half empty or half full. I would look at an 8oz. glass of water and say "Oh, there are 4 oz. in the glass." Very matter-of-fact. Very straightforward. Neither here, nor there. It's just how I am programmed. I am thankful to surround myself with people that look on the brightside; but at the end of the day, I am going to tell you like it is - even if it is behind the facade of this blog. It works for me!!
Monday, August 22, 2011
Denim, the fabric of our lives
So we have bashed the gym goers...twice. We have bashed bachelorette parties. We have yet to bash Corporate America and the idiots who think Casual Friday means throwing a baby-doll cardigan over their see-through, cleavage-enhancing tank so that their look magically transforms from day to night! I literally come to work in the mornings dreading what I may see on some people. And I am not just talking abuout the young women in the workplace; the middle-aged ones are just as bad, if not worse. And then men are equally guilty in their own rights. I want to paint mental images for you so that you can bask in the glory of what I see each and every day!
Please remember - I in no way think that I am a fashion goddess or a member of the fashion police. I certainly have my moments, but in general, I like to think that I have a pretty good grasp on what is appropriate both on my body, and at the office.
Let's start with the easy targets - the 20-something females. For some reason, these girls have a hard time transitioning from attention-grabbing attire (you know the kind that would get you free drinks in a bar), to work-appropriate clothing (the kind that makes you look competent and professional). Maybe its because they don't have money yet to buy work clothes. If thats the case, then I can let it slide for the first 6 weeks, get a couple pay checks, then splurge!! Or maybe they don't know any better. If it's your first "real job" out of school, maybe you don't know that its completely inappropriate to wear a miniskirt, 4-inch heels, and a spaghetti strap tank-top. Or a tube top dress!! YES! Seen it with my own eyes. After a few days of looking like a go-go dancer while your peers are dressed for success, you would think you'd get the hint. Sadly, this is not always the case. There are still those 20-somethings that insist on rocking it like its Saturday night in Vegas- skin tight denim and a bare-back top. But let me tell you, there will come a day that you no longer dress for the men and you start dressing for the ladies. In the mornings now, I will pick out an outfit that I think women will come up to me and say "Wow, don't you look cute?" or "I love that shirt!" I don't care what the men think anymore; as long as the women are happy, I did my job.
Next culprits, the 20-something men. I am sorry, but aren't the days of sagging your pants long-gone? I could have sworn 2004 called and wants their beltless cargo pants back!! I am disgusted to see this look at the mall on a weekend. I am even more disgusted to see a boy walking around the office with his legs stick straight because if he bends his knees then his pants are going to fall to his ankles. It's unbelievable really. And then there is the "distressed" jean! I have to be honest, I am a fan of distressed pants. I think the look is cute and trendy. However, I find it completely ridiculous to see a boy at work with holey jeans; or even worse, the fraying edges on a pair of jeans that have been stepped on too many times! Ever heard of a tailor? Guess what - they can actually hem your pant leg so that you aren't stepping on them all day. Novel concept. So men, please wear a nice pair of jeans and a belt. Thank you!
Moving right along to the middle-aged women. I love seeing a middle-aged woman dress trendy - a nice pair of jeans, a fitted blazer, and a cute pair of heels. Awesome! And I am happy to say that there are some very cute and well-put together women that work with me. Unfortunately, I seem to run into the complete opposite more often than not. There are ladies that, I honestly believe, took their outfits from their high school daughter's closet. They look absolutely ridiculous. The shirts are too low cut, their pants are way too tight, and they can't walk in a pair of heels to save their lives. And the hilarity of it all is that they think they are attracting the right attention. Little do they know, they appear delusional and desperate. Ladies, dress for your age (and your body type). No one can see the tag, so buy something that fits and work it!!
The last group that I must pick on are the middle-aged men. Now, they are not nearly as bad as the women are (both the twenty-somethings and the others), but they deserve a little attention. First up, their denim! Gentlemen - there is so much to be said for a nice pair of jeans. Light-colored denim is making a comeback, however, for Casual Fridays (or even a nice dinner out with your wife) a dark pair of designer jeans can work wonders! Now I understand spending $100+ on a pair of jeans seems ridiculous, but think of the upside. Your a** will most likely look phenomenal, and you can't put a price tag on that. But, even a nice pair of jeans does not make a Hawaiian button-down cool. I am sorry, but we work in the Midwest, not in Honolulu, so there is just no reason for such a breezy shirt. Yuck! And one more thought - white tube socks should be banned at all times, unless you are at the gym...just saying.
So, in short, denim really could be an allegory of life; there are the tight jeans, the baggy jeans, and the jeans that fit just right, all of which are appropriate at various times in our lives. It's up to us to determine the relevance of these jeans and to rock them at just the right time.
Please remember - I in no way think that I am a fashion goddess or a member of the fashion police. I certainly have my moments, but in general, I like to think that I have a pretty good grasp on what is appropriate both on my body, and at the office.
Let's start with the easy targets - the 20-something females. For some reason, these girls have a hard time transitioning from attention-grabbing attire (you know the kind that would get you free drinks in a bar), to work-appropriate clothing (the kind that makes you look competent and professional). Maybe its because they don't have money yet to buy work clothes. If thats the case, then I can let it slide for the first 6 weeks, get a couple pay checks, then splurge!! Or maybe they don't know any better. If it's your first "real job" out of school, maybe you don't know that its completely inappropriate to wear a miniskirt, 4-inch heels, and a spaghetti strap tank-top. Or a tube top dress!! YES! Seen it with my own eyes. After a few days of looking like a go-go dancer while your peers are dressed for success, you would think you'd get the hint. Sadly, this is not always the case. There are still those 20-somethings that insist on rocking it like its Saturday night in Vegas- skin tight denim and a bare-back top. But let me tell you, there will come a day that you no longer dress for the men and you start dressing for the ladies. In the mornings now, I will pick out an outfit that I think women will come up to me and say "Wow, don't you look cute?" or "I love that shirt!" I don't care what the men think anymore; as long as the women are happy, I did my job.
Next culprits, the 20-something men. I am sorry, but aren't the days of sagging your pants long-gone? I could have sworn 2004 called and wants their beltless cargo pants back!! I am disgusted to see this look at the mall on a weekend. I am even more disgusted to see a boy walking around the office with his legs stick straight because if he bends his knees then his pants are going to fall to his ankles. It's unbelievable really. And then there is the "distressed" jean! I have to be honest, I am a fan of distressed pants. I think the look is cute and trendy. However, I find it completely ridiculous to see a boy at work with holey jeans; or even worse, the fraying edges on a pair of jeans that have been stepped on too many times! Ever heard of a tailor? Guess what - they can actually hem your pant leg so that you aren't stepping on them all day. Novel concept. So men, please wear a nice pair of jeans and a belt. Thank you!
Moving right along to the middle-aged women. I love seeing a middle-aged woman dress trendy - a nice pair of jeans, a fitted blazer, and a cute pair of heels. Awesome! And I am happy to say that there are some very cute and well-put together women that work with me. Unfortunately, I seem to run into the complete opposite more often than not. There are ladies that, I honestly believe, took their outfits from their high school daughter's closet. They look absolutely ridiculous. The shirts are too low cut, their pants are way too tight, and they can't walk in a pair of heels to save their lives. And the hilarity of it all is that they think they are attracting the right attention. Little do they know, they appear delusional and desperate. Ladies, dress for your age (and your body type). No one can see the tag, so buy something that fits and work it!!
The last group that I must pick on are the middle-aged men. Now, they are not nearly as bad as the women are (both the twenty-somethings and the others), but they deserve a little attention. First up, their denim! Gentlemen - there is so much to be said for a nice pair of jeans. Light-colored denim is making a comeback, however, for Casual Fridays (or even a nice dinner out with your wife) a dark pair of designer jeans can work wonders! Now I understand spending $100+ on a pair of jeans seems ridiculous, but think of the upside. Your a** will most likely look phenomenal, and you can't put a price tag on that. But, even a nice pair of jeans does not make a Hawaiian button-down cool. I am sorry, but we work in the Midwest, not in Honolulu, so there is just no reason for such a breezy shirt. Yuck! And one more thought - white tube socks should be banned at all times, unless you are at the gym...just saying.
So, in short, denim really could be an allegory of life; there are the tight jeans, the baggy jeans, and the jeans that fit just right, all of which are appropriate at various times in our lives. It's up to us to determine the relevance of these jeans and to rock them at just the right time.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Vacations Rule!
It's amazing the emotions that you go through when you are planning, about to go on, partaking in, and back from a vacation. Allow me to explain further...
Planning a vacation is awesome!! You generally do this part with plenty of time. You pick a location. Pick the people you want to come with you (or selectively eliminate the one's you do not). And then you spend the next 6 months thinking about how this vacation will never come. You find mini-milestones...like a holiday...and you say, only 3 more months until we are away! It feels like forever. You still have moments of excitement that well up inside of you, especially when you are at work and they are talking long-term project roll-outs and you know that you will be gone during some of them, so you don't have to worry about it! Best feeling ever!! You can say things like, "Oh yeah, I'd love to help, but I am actually going to be out that week." You look like a rockstar, but you get out of having to do anything.
Whether you thought it would happen or not, the week before vacation arrives. It's sometimes better than the actual vacation. You can't start any projects at work because you'll be out for some time and you can't possibly be M.I.A. should questions arise. So you decline participation in various things. You start putting warning messages in your emails out "Oh Mr. or Mrs. I am happy to help, but should any other questions arise, please contact my back up because I am going to be out all next week." The email sounds like you genuinely care that this person may have questions, but the truth is, you are wiping your hands clean from their issue altogether. Meeting invites come into your inbox, you respond without checking your calendar "Decline with Comment" and you tell the meeting coordinator that you are going to be on PTO (paid time off). You don't tell them when you are coming back for fear that they will reschedule the meeting and you will have to actually sit through it. Horrible. The week before vacation is best! You make random stops at the store after work. You leave piles of clothes around your house. You make several lists (which you never use to pack anyways, but making them makes you feel more organized...it's all an illusion). You are ready to go on vacation!
Then the morning comes and you are off for the next week. You don't think about work or school. You don't think about the looming projects. You don't think about your poor co-workers back at the ranch trying to cover your a** while you are gone. You don't think about any of that. What you focus on is being with the one's you love. Having the time of your life. Are you going to take a shower before you go play outside or after? Are you going to bother putting on make-up? The toughest decision might be whether to go out for dinner or whether to stay in? Your brain gets a chance to actually take a rest from expense reports, deadlines, complaints, etc. Sure, you may check your Blackberry once in a while to delete emails from people that blatantly ignore your out of office, but that stuff is easy! Being on vacation is the best feeling in the world.
But then the vacation starts coming to an end, and depression sets in. And I am not talking about a little bit of dread that enters the pit of your stomach; I am talking full on depression. The kind where you don't want to do anything for fear that tomorrow, the first day back to work, will come. The kind where you cry thinking about having to work on that spreadsheet. The kind where you think to yourself "I don't even know when my next vacation is going to be. Where did the time go?" It totally takes the wind out of your sails. And then in the office parking lot, you must partake in a soliloquy - pep-talking yourself into going into the office and tackling the come back. Once in there, you have to sift through all of your emails and decide who is worthy of a response, who isn't, and who's email should be forwarded to your co-workers because it is so riduclous! Coming back from vacation is so rough, you often wonder why you took a vacation in the first place. Remember how much fun you had, and thumb through the pictures, and it will remind you why we give ourselves a break from the everyday.
Some advice for getting through this emotional rollercoaster....plan a vacation (or a staycation) every few months so you have something wonderful to look forward to. In the mean time, keep on keeping on...Labor Day will be here before we know it and we'll get a wonderful three-day weekend!
Planning a vacation is awesome!! You generally do this part with plenty of time. You pick a location. Pick the people you want to come with you (or selectively eliminate the one's you do not). And then you spend the next 6 months thinking about how this vacation will never come. You find mini-milestones...like a holiday...and you say, only 3 more months until we are away! It feels like forever. You still have moments of excitement that well up inside of you, especially when you are at work and they are talking long-term project roll-outs and you know that you will be gone during some of them, so you don't have to worry about it! Best feeling ever!! You can say things like, "Oh yeah, I'd love to help, but I am actually going to be out that week." You look like a rockstar, but you get out of having to do anything.
Whether you thought it would happen or not, the week before vacation arrives. It's sometimes better than the actual vacation. You can't start any projects at work because you'll be out for some time and you can't possibly be M.I.A. should questions arise. So you decline participation in various things. You start putting warning messages in your emails out "Oh Mr. or Mrs. I am happy to help, but should any other questions arise, please contact my back up because I am going to be out all next week." The email sounds like you genuinely care that this person may have questions, but the truth is, you are wiping your hands clean from their issue altogether. Meeting invites come into your inbox, you respond without checking your calendar "Decline with Comment" and you tell the meeting coordinator that you are going to be on PTO (paid time off). You don't tell them when you are coming back for fear that they will reschedule the meeting and you will have to actually sit through it. Horrible. The week before vacation is best! You make random stops at the store after work. You leave piles of clothes around your house. You make several lists (which you never use to pack anyways, but making them makes you feel more organized...it's all an illusion). You are ready to go on vacation!
Then the morning comes and you are off for the next week. You don't think about work or school. You don't think about the looming projects. You don't think about your poor co-workers back at the ranch trying to cover your a** while you are gone. You don't think about any of that. What you focus on is being with the one's you love. Having the time of your life. Are you going to take a shower before you go play outside or after? Are you going to bother putting on make-up? The toughest decision might be whether to go out for dinner or whether to stay in? Your brain gets a chance to actually take a rest from expense reports, deadlines, complaints, etc. Sure, you may check your Blackberry once in a while to delete emails from people that blatantly ignore your out of office, but that stuff is easy! Being on vacation is the best feeling in the world.
But then the vacation starts coming to an end, and depression sets in. And I am not talking about a little bit of dread that enters the pit of your stomach; I am talking full on depression. The kind where you don't want to do anything for fear that tomorrow, the first day back to work, will come. The kind where you cry thinking about having to work on that spreadsheet. The kind where you think to yourself "I don't even know when my next vacation is going to be. Where did the time go?" It totally takes the wind out of your sails. And then in the office parking lot, you must partake in a soliloquy - pep-talking yourself into going into the office and tackling the come back. Once in there, you have to sift through all of your emails and decide who is worthy of a response, who isn't, and who's email should be forwarded to your co-workers because it is so riduclous! Coming back from vacation is so rough, you often wonder why you took a vacation in the first place. Remember how much fun you had, and thumb through the pictures, and it will remind you why we give ourselves a break from the everyday.
Some advice for getting through this emotional rollercoaster....plan a vacation (or a staycation) every few months so you have something wonderful to look forward to. In the mean time, keep on keeping on...Labor Day will be here before we know it and we'll get a wonderful three-day weekend!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
The various meanings of "August"
We have officially made it to the month of August!! Where as this year gone?? I remember my parents telling me that life goes by so much quicker the older you get; sadly, they did not lie (even though growing up we'd swear our parents were always wrong...). Every year, I hate when the corporate calendars are released and you see the time off the national holidays that they are going to recognize this year, secretly hoping America adopts the same holidays that Norway does so we can have 20+ days off. You look at it and realize that the first three-day weekend isn't until Memorial Day and you think to yourself Am I ever going to make it to May? May seems like FOREVER away when it is January 2nd and you are just getting back from the holidays. Welp, May did come, and so did 4th of July, and now we are in August!! But that doesn't really mean much to those of us with corporate jobs where we work year-round. It just means we are one month closer to September where we get our second three-day weekend for Labor Day! Oh joy. Depending on where you are in life, August has quite a different meaning...
In Elementary, Junior High, and High School, August meant the end of summer. The end of kick-the-can and Ghost in the Graveyard. The end of 12-hour days at the community pool having both lunch and dinner at the snack bar. It meant all the slacking and procrastinating you had done all summer was catching up with you, and it was time to start that totally uninspiring summer reading book; or worse, the summer math packet, both of which resulted in some sort of an idiosyncratic response! What the heck was that about?? Summer reading was one thing that totally sucked. But a summer math packet?! That was hell on earth! I remember we would all get to school that first day, we'd meet in the Wood Commons and the panicked copying would commence. Stupid math packets. At that age, August meant the end of fun, and the start of class, homework, and tests; 9-mos of shear and utter pain.
Then, in college, August meant something wonderful! August meant you no longer had to hang out in your parents' basement if you were under 21. It meant your summer internship (aka: the worst thing ever) was over and you could return to your happy place - COLLEGE!! There were no summer reading books in college (or at least I didn't read them). There were no summer math packets in college. Going back to school meant your freedom! It meant bars! And frat parties! And tailgates! And the best thing of all...SYLLABUS WEEK! What I would give for just one more Syllabus week.
So here we sit, August 3rd. Those of you heading back to elementary, junior high, or high school - go finish your summer reading and math packets! For those of you heading back to college, have a cold one for me, and enjoy the hell out of Syllabus Week! And for those of us stuck in our corporate jobs with our corporate peers and our corporate holiday calendars, cheers! We have more money than any of those suckers, even if we don't have a summer.
In Elementary, Junior High, and High School, August meant the end of summer. The end of kick-the-can and Ghost in the Graveyard. The end of 12-hour days at the community pool having both lunch and dinner at the snack bar. It meant all the slacking and procrastinating you had done all summer was catching up with you, and it was time to start that totally uninspiring summer reading book; or worse, the summer math packet, both of which resulted in some sort of an idiosyncratic response! What the heck was that about?? Summer reading was one thing that totally sucked. But a summer math packet?! That was hell on earth! I remember we would all get to school that first day, we'd meet in the Wood Commons and the panicked copying would commence. Stupid math packets. At that age, August meant the end of fun, and the start of class, homework, and tests; 9-mos of shear and utter pain.
Then, in college, August meant something wonderful! August meant you no longer had to hang out in your parents' basement if you were under 21. It meant your summer internship (aka: the worst thing ever) was over and you could return to your happy place - COLLEGE!! There were no summer reading books in college (or at least I didn't read them). There were no summer math packets in college. Going back to school meant your freedom! It meant bars! And frat parties! And tailgates! And the best thing of all...SYLLABUS WEEK! What I would give for just one more Syllabus week.
So here we sit, August 3rd. Those of you heading back to elementary, junior high, or high school - go finish your summer reading and math packets! For those of you heading back to college, have a cold one for me, and enjoy the hell out of Syllabus Week! And for those of us stuck in our corporate jobs with our corporate peers and our corporate holiday calendars, cheers! We have more money than any of those suckers, even if we don't have a summer.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Rich people problems
I love reality TV. There, I said it. I have never understood why they call it "reality TV" when we all know that nothing about what is filmed is real. Think about it; they are filming out-of-the-ordinary people/situations, using some very creative editing, and sucking the public into this fantasy land one episode at a time...and yes, I am part of the public and proud of it! Here are some of my favorite "reality" shows.
The Hills/Laguna Beach - this was really our generation's first dose of reality TV, and it. was. awesome. The love triangle between Kristin, Stephen, and LC. The impending drama between Lauren and Heidi. The screwed up relationship between Lauren and Jason. The ridiculous love story of Heidi and Spencer. And unusual names like Talon and Cedric. These "characters" lived such a lavish lifestyle which in no way mirrored any reality that I was used to. Sure plenty of kids drove nice cars and threw great parties, but we didn't have infinity pools that looked out to the Pacific. We didn't have run-ins with stars. And we certainly didn't have an unlimited cash-flow. Call it jealousy (because that is most likely what it was), but I loved to hate these characters, and I still do!
The Real Housewives of Orange County - I have to pay hommage to TRHoOC because they were the original! When I first discovered this show, it was like my guilty pleasure. Vicki, Jo, Lauri, Jeana, (and eventually Tamra and Gretchen) - the first few seasons - were so entertaining; they were wild, crazy and fun and HAD to be them when I grew up! The women had (and still do have) an insatiable need for wealth and everything they did seemed like a far-fetched dream that one day I had to fulfill. I know now (being a working adult) that money like that is not normal. It doesn't mean, though, that I can't continue being envious of their lavish lifestyles and jet-setting ways...b1tches! Who's ready for the next season?? (They play re-runs of all of the different cities all the time on Bravo).
The Bachelor(ette) - Why I subject myself to this show is beyond me!? Each season I attach myself to one or two of the top 10 contestants and I glue myself to the TV to watch their progress. They travel the world. Eat exquisite cuisine. They stay in fabulous hotels on some of the world's most gorgeous beaches. They spend more than half the show in a bathing suit, and the remaining time in a dapper three-piece suit or an incredibly amazing dress. I don't know about you, but the last time I got dressed up like that was my high school prom; totally "unreal," yet if I can't watch the show live, I sure as hell DVR it so I can catch up later. I am ridiclous. It is nearly impossible for a couple to see each other once a week for two months and to know that they are soul mates and meant to be together for ever. It takes more than a few glasses of wine and a sexy waterfall to make a marraige last. It takes only a few glasses of wine and sexy waterfall for me to be obsessed with this show...ha! (Mondays at 7:00PM Central on ABC).
Giulana & Bill - I happen to love G+B. Sure the two of them live lavish lives (he is the former winner of Donald Trump's show, "The Apprentice," and she is the host of E! News), but they tackle real problems, with real emotions. Unlike TRHoOC where their biggest problem is missing a Tupperware party because they have to actually go to work, G+B struggle with infertility, long-distance relationships, etc. I love their friendly banter, their positive outlook on life, and their overall love for one another. Again, this isn't reality with the two of them maintaining a happy marriage with one person living in Chicago and the other in LA, but they have oodles of money so they can afford to fly back and forth and back and forth during a recession. Lucky them! I still can't find any reason to not like them though, so they will remain my favorite reality TV couple...for now. (Monday at 7:00PM Central on Style).
So, as may be evident, I am a sucker for a good reality show. I can watch the same episodes over and over and over again, much to the dismay of my husband. I can't explain why I like them, and I can't defend myself when I am challenged about their stupidity, but I will continue to be an avid watcher of "rich people's problems" and bask in the glory of my own "reality."
The Hills/Laguna Beach - this was really our generation's first dose of reality TV, and it. was. awesome. The love triangle between Kristin, Stephen, and LC. The impending drama between Lauren and Heidi. The screwed up relationship between Lauren and Jason. The ridiculous love story of Heidi and Spencer. And unusual names like Talon and Cedric. These "characters" lived such a lavish lifestyle which in no way mirrored any reality that I was used to. Sure plenty of kids drove nice cars and threw great parties, but we didn't have infinity pools that looked out to the Pacific. We didn't have run-ins with stars. And we certainly didn't have an unlimited cash-flow. Call it jealousy (because that is most likely what it was), but I loved to hate these characters, and I still do!
The Real Housewives of Orange County - I have to pay hommage to TRHoOC because they were the original! When I first discovered this show, it was like my guilty pleasure. Vicki, Jo, Lauri, Jeana, (and eventually Tamra and Gretchen) - the first few seasons - were so entertaining; they were wild, crazy and fun and HAD to be them when I grew up! The women had (and still do have) an insatiable need for wealth and everything they did seemed like a far-fetched dream that one day I had to fulfill. I know now (being a working adult) that money like that is not normal. It doesn't mean, though, that I can't continue being envious of their lavish lifestyles and jet-setting ways...b1tches! Who's ready for the next season?? (They play re-runs of all of the different cities all the time on Bravo).
The Bachelor(ette) - Why I subject myself to this show is beyond me!? Each season I attach myself to one or two of the top 10 contestants and I glue myself to the TV to watch their progress. They travel the world. Eat exquisite cuisine. They stay in fabulous hotels on some of the world's most gorgeous beaches. They spend more than half the show in a bathing suit, and the remaining time in a dapper three-piece suit or an incredibly amazing dress. I don't know about you, but the last time I got dressed up like that was my high school prom; totally "unreal," yet if I can't watch the show live, I sure as hell DVR it so I can catch up later. I am ridiclous. It is nearly impossible for a couple to see each other once a week for two months and to know that they are soul mates and meant to be together for ever. It takes more than a few glasses of wine and a sexy waterfall to make a marraige last. It takes only a few glasses of wine and sexy waterfall for me to be obsessed with this show...ha! (Mondays at 7:00PM Central on ABC).
Giulana & Bill - I happen to love G+B. Sure the two of them live lavish lives (he is the former winner of Donald Trump's show, "The Apprentice," and she is the host of E! News), but they tackle real problems, with real emotions. Unlike TRHoOC where their biggest problem is missing a Tupperware party because they have to actually go to work, G+B struggle with infertility, long-distance relationships, etc. I love their friendly banter, their positive outlook on life, and their overall love for one another. Again, this isn't reality with the two of them maintaining a happy marriage with one person living in Chicago and the other in LA, but they have oodles of money so they can afford to fly back and forth and back and forth during a recession. Lucky them! I still can't find any reason to not like them though, so they will remain my favorite reality TV couple...for now. (Monday at 7:00PM Central on Style).
So, as may be evident, I am a sucker for a good reality show. I can watch the same episodes over and over and over again, much to the dismay of my husband. I can't explain why I like them, and I can't defend myself when I am challenged about their stupidity, but I will continue to be an avid watcher of "rich people's problems" and bask in the glory of my own "reality."
Monday, August 1, 2011
Have you seen my motivation?
Ohhhhhhh Monday mornings. We should just ban you from existence and start right up with Monday afternoons...do a little switch-a-roo with the work week. I mean think about it; there are songs written about how terrible Mondays are (the Bangles, Manic Monday). There are sayings that reflect the physical/emotional impact Mondays have on us (Office Space: "...somebody's gotta case of the Mondays"). I feel like on Mondays someone has taken my motivation and just thrown it out onto 2-94 where it is currently getting run over by gas-guzzling SUVs and Semis. Whether we should be admitting this or not, overall productivity on a Monday doesn't really equate to a full day's work. There are several reasons for this:
1) We are tired. We can't fall asleep at a decent time on Sunday nights because our mind's are wandering about having to go to to work in the morning. Then we come to work in the morning and we are tired from thinking about coming to work in the morning. It's a vicious circle.
2) People act as if we haven't seen each other for months. Every person you pass in the office asks: Ohhh, hey, so how was your weekend? People generally respond with "Good, how about your's?" However, occassionally you get the people that want to walk you through Friday at 5PM through the current moment. And if someone had a kick-ass weekend, then I usually have to come up with something better than the truth. I try to be cool, but as we all learned last week, I am just old! :)
3) Lack of motivation. Even if we didn't do anything over the weekend, and we feel completely well-rested, we lack motivation. We get depressed knowing we have 5 consecutive days of work in a row, and only two days off. Thinking about how long 5 days really is sucks the motivation right out of us. It generally takes all of Monday morning to stop feeling bad for ourselves and start doing something remotely productive.
4) We are day dreaming! We are thinking about how awesome this past weekend was or how incredible the next weekend will be. We are literally thinking about anything other than what we should be focused on. Can you blame us??
5) We are hungover. For some people this hangover has lasted since Friday night (usually me). For others, this is a result of Sunday Funday. Enough said.
All in all, Monday is just an unwelcomed slap in the face that acts as a reminder that your two days away from harsh reality have come to an abrupt close, and your five days "on" commences immediately. Ready or not, here comes Monday!!
1) We are tired. We can't fall asleep at a decent time on Sunday nights because our mind's are wandering about having to go to to work in the morning. Then we come to work in the morning and we are tired from thinking about coming to work in the morning. It's a vicious circle.
2) People act as if we haven't seen each other for months. Every person you pass in the office asks: Ohhh, hey, so how was your weekend? People generally respond with "Good, how about your's?" However, occassionally you get the people that want to walk you through Friday at 5PM through the current moment. And if someone had a kick-ass weekend, then I usually have to come up with something better than the truth. I try to be cool, but as we all learned last week, I am just old! :)
3) Lack of motivation. Even if we didn't do anything over the weekend, and we feel completely well-rested, we lack motivation. We get depressed knowing we have 5 consecutive days of work in a row, and only two days off. Thinking about how long 5 days really is sucks the motivation right out of us. It generally takes all of Monday morning to stop feeling bad for ourselves and start doing something remotely productive.
4) We are day dreaming! We are thinking about how awesome this past weekend was or how incredible the next weekend will be. We are literally thinking about anything other than what we should be focused on. Can you blame us??
5) We are hungover. For some people this hangover has lasted since Friday night (usually me). For others, this is a result of Sunday Funday. Enough said.
All in all, Monday is just an unwelcomed slap in the face that acts as a reminder that your two days away from harsh reality have come to an abrupt close, and your five days "on" commences immediately. Ready or not, here comes Monday!!
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