Have you ever stopped to realize how reliant we are on instant gratification? I mean really reliant on it. I can say that I had a moment of clarity this past weekend when the epitome of my Instant Gratification broke! Now, I am not proud of this. Not proud at all. But a little piece of me died this weekend. Our Keurig coffee maker officially stopped working properly!! Who would have thought that I would have become so addicted to (not only the caffeine), but the instant satisfaction that the Keurig brought to my life. Sure we have an "old-fashioned" coffee maker - and I say that semi-seriously - but I had forgotten how much "effort" (again, I am being dramatic) goes into using one of those. Thank goodness we still had coffee filters in the cabinet! So I busted out the old coffee pot, put in a trusty filter, and realized we didn't have any coffee other than the K-cups. So, I took a knife, cut open those K-cups, and dumped them in the coffee machine. Then the waiting game began. I couldn't just press the button and within :30 seconds I had a warm cup of coffee. The coffee maker takes time to warm the water, and then to brew the coffee. I had to wait a good 10 minutes! Before the Keurig, I didn't think anything of the wait time, but now, knowing that it was possible to have coffee that quickly, the waiting game was rough. In the end, though, I was so proud of myself for being resourceful and for remembering how to use the damn coffee maker. Oh the little things in life that we take for granted.
Besides the Keurig coffee machine, there are so many other examples of how we, as a society, have become obsessed with instant gratification. Next on the list - text messages/email. Instead of picking up the phone and calling one another, or heaven forbid you write a note and send it with a stamp to someone, we have resorted to email and text messaging. And the expectation has now become that if you send an email or a text, that you will get a response immediately. I have taken plenty of courses through work that encourage you to not respond to emails right away - which to me is ironic given the most guilty participants of this "you better respond now" movement is corporate America, but that's neither here nor there. Now whether or not I follow this advice depends on how busy I am throughout the day. The experts out there say that you shouldn't stay logged into your email all day long, and you certainly shouldn't have notifications set up that tell you every time you get an email in your inbox. They say that you should set up an allotted amount of time everyday to check emails and only do it then. I think, in theory, this is a great idea. However, the expectations exist for a reason. People want a response as quickly as possible. So if you are the only one on an email chain that checks their emails periodically, you are inherently the a-hole; the one person that doesn't respond with an answer as timely as everyone else, and therefore YOU hold up whatever process is waiting. It has almost become a race to see who can respond first. It's generally the first responder that can pass the buck on to someone else as well. I have to admit, though, that if I hear my Blackberry vibrate, then I am definitely going to check it. It's just how I am programmed.
But let's not forget how awesome it is to go out to your mailbox and find a letter in there or a "just because" card. Nothing makes me smile more than getting a piece of mail that isn't a bill or junk! If we focus too much on communicating with one another via email or text messaging, then lose sight of the human aspect that writing a letter brings.
So Keurigs and emails have ingrained in us a sense of instant gratification, but so have debit cards. You know, as a kid, I had to know how to count money. I had to know that two nickels made a dime and that four quarters made a dollar. In this day and age, everyone uses debit cards. I like that commercial for the Visa Check Card that shows how easy the world works when everyone swipes their card. It also shows how the world stops when someone uses cash. There is some truth to that commercial; we can quickly get through a lunch line if we simply swipe our cards (that is, if the card-swiping machine is working properly), but we can't forget the fundamentals of knowing how to count money! This is quite the analogy for life, don't you think?
Moral of the story: even though we are surrounded by things that help to make our life easier and move more quickly, let's not forget how to use our coffee pots, or snail mail, or cash. You never know when the Keurig may break.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
Halloween: Why most men love it & most women hate it!
I am a Halloween Hater! There. I said it. I love the candy. And I love seeing adorable little kids dressed up like teddy bears and pumpkins. But once you hit a certain age, Halloween is terrible. I hit that age a long time ago, and swore off Halloween. This year, we attempted to bring it back into our lives, but I began regretting the decision the minute we decided to go costume shopping...
Last weekend, Mike and I went costume shopping. We had talked about wanting to do some thing thematic and maybe "coupley" this year. We generally aren't "halloween people" so dressing up isn't exactly our cup-of-tea. We haven't had much luck in the past because neither one of us is that creative. We are always stuck with whatever the stores have, and frankly, we wait til the last minute so they are always picked over. We thought this year might be a little different because we were motivated to find something. Boy were we wrong.
Have you ever noticed that there are really two types of couples costumes...1) the cheesiest, most unflattering costumes you could think of, and 2) slutty Disney couples. Examples of type 1 are Ketchup and Mustard. Miss Piggy and Kermit. A pair of M&Ms. All of these costumes are absolutely hideous (I am sorry if it is your costume), and they do nothing for the people in them. Examples of type 2 are Little Red Riding and the Big Bad Wolf. Alice in Wonderland and the Mad Hatter. Peter Pan and Tinker Bell. You get the idea. On the surface, these don't sound so bad because they are the characters that we grew up watching on VHS. Their stories were pure and fun. Newsflash: nothing about Halloween is pure and fun anymore.
Given the above, Type 1 was clearly not an option for us, because frankly, I don't want to walk around in a bar dressed up like a peanut M&M. It would be bulky and sweaty - two things women don't want in a Halloween costume. Our only options, then, were type 2. FML. Thus began our search for the needle in a haystack. Who would have thought that finding a decent-looking costume that didn't show off my assets would be so difficult?
Disney characters are officially inappropriate. Who knew Alice in Wonderland could be such a hooch? I mean come on! Since when did she start wearing a mini-skirt, thigh-highs, and a cleavage enhancing top? And then there is Little Red (Slut) Hood. The cape is twice as long as the skirt is, and the cape barely covers my butt cheeks, so the skirt is basically a bikini bottom. The last thing I want to do is look like Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls - you know the scene when she shows up to the costume party dressed to the nines for Halloween while all of the other girls are in leotards with a pair of ears and a stick on bunny tail? But I also don't want to have to starve myself for a week before Halloween so that I feel comfortable in the tiny outfits. Oh the tangled webs we weave.
At the costume shops they tell all of the girls buying these Disney costumes that they are "couples themed" because they pair the woman's costume with a man's option. But can someone please tell me why Alice in Wonderland must look like a hooker but the Mad Hatter (the man's costume) requires him to dress up like a clown? If I have to dress like a hooch, then so should he! What we have learned this year is that there are not many options for men. Their only real options are to either dress like a fool to be the partner to your skanky girl, or to dress like a woman (cue: obnixous man in a woman's cheerleading uniform or a pregnant nun) - both options I am not a fan of. At all.
In the end, we found a relatively decent costume that doesn't make me look like I work the corner on the weekends, and doesn't make Mike look like a total douche. Of course these costumes require a little tweaking on our end - and by tweaking I mean additional clothing - but we look cute, and thats all that matters. Happy costume hunting. It sucks.
Last weekend, Mike and I went costume shopping. We had talked about wanting to do some thing thematic and maybe "coupley" this year. We generally aren't "halloween people" so dressing up isn't exactly our cup-of-tea. We haven't had much luck in the past because neither one of us is that creative. We are always stuck with whatever the stores have, and frankly, we wait til the last minute so they are always picked over. We thought this year might be a little different because we were motivated to find something. Boy were we wrong.
Have you ever noticed that there are really two types of couples costumes...1) the cheesiest, most unflattering costumes you could think of, and 2) slutty Disney couples. Examples of type 1 are Ketchup and Mustard. Miss Piggy and Kermit. A pair of M&Ms. All of these costumes are absolutely hideous (I am sorry if it is your costume), and they do nothing for the people in them. Examples of type 2 are Little Red Riding and the Big Bad Wolf. Alice in Wonderland and the Mad Hatter. Peter Pan and Tinker Bell. You get the idea. On the surface, these don't sound so bad because they are the characters that we grew up watching on VHS. Their stories were pure and fun. Newsflash: nothing about Halloween is pure and fun anymore.
Given the above, Type 1 was clearly not an option for us, because frankly, I don't want to walk around in a bar dressed up like a peanut M&M. It would be bulky and sweaty - two things women don't want in a Halloween costume. Our only options, then, were type 2. FML. Thus began our search for the needle in a haystack. Who would have thought that finding a decent-looking costume that didn't show off my assets would be so difficult?
Disney characters are officially inappropriate. Who knew Alice in Wonderland could be such a hooch? I mean come on! Since when did she start wearing a mini-skirt, thigh-highs, and a cleavage enhancing top? And then there is Little Red (Slut) Hood. The cape is twice as long as the skirt is, and the cape barely covers my butt cheeks, so the skirt is basically a bikini bottom. The last thing I want to do is look like Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls - you know the scene when she shows up to the costume party dressed to the nines for Halloween while all of the other girls are in leotards with a pair of ears and a stick on bunny tail? But I also don't want to have to starve myself for a week before Halloween so that I feel comfortable in the tiny outfits. Oh the tangled webs we weave.
At the costume shops they tell all of the girls buying these Disney costumes that they are "couples themed" because they pair the woman's costume with a man's option. But can someone please tell me why Alice in Wonderland must look like a hooker but the Mad Hatter (the man's costume) requires him to dress up like a clown? If I have to dress like a hooch, then so should he! What we have learned this year is that there are not many options for men. Their only real options are to either dress like a fool to be the partner to your skanky girl, or to dress like a woman (cue: obnixous man in a woman's cheerleading uniform or a pregnant nun) - both options I am not a fan of. At all.
In the end, we found a relatively decent costume that doesn't make me look like I work the corner on the weekends, and doesn't make Mike look like a total douche. Of course these costumes require a little tweaking on our end - and by tweaking I mean additional clothing - but we look cute, and thats all that matters. Happy costume hunting. It sucks.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Long live the Oregon Trail!
Can you imagine being in elementary school right now? Think about how much life has changed since you were in elementary school - for me that was almost 20 years ago. 20 years ago! 20 years ago very few people had computers in their homes, so the expectation was that you, dare I say it, wrote your homework on loose leaf. 20 years ago we took a computer class where we learned to type (QWERTY style), we learned to save our documents (using a floppy disk), and we played Oregon Trail (Hollllerrrrr)! The Oregon Trail taught us to fend for ourselves. We had to shoot buffalo, if you were lucky, and use all of it to sustain life. We had to fight diptheria for heaven's sake!! 20 years ago we did math facts on a chalk board. We used transparencies. We played outside. Yes people, we actually interacted with one another in the fresh air. We didn't just in our bedrooms with a headset playing robot video games.
So much has changed since we were all in school. In fact, I have heard that they have officially stopped teaching cursive in elementary school. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME, RIGHT? Cursive may not be used all that frequently these days with the influx in computer usage, but knowing how to write is imperative! I can remember back to 3rd grade, Mrs. Morrissey's class, when we were learning how to write in cursive. We had the big ol' pencils and the trace paper, and we wrote Aa, Bb, Cc, over and over and over again until we got the hang of it. In all honesty, I couldn't do a cursive uppercase Q if you paid me right now, but back then, I was a pro.
Then in 4th grade, when you were learning how to use a check book, you had sign your name on the check. Cursive. When you were taking CAT testing, you had to sign the scantron to say that you weren't cheating. Cursive. When you were 16 and you got your driver's license, you had to sign the little box to say that you promise you are who you say you are. Cursive. When you get married, you need to sign the marriage license. Cursive. How can they just stop teaching the youth of America how to sign their name?
And back to the topic of playing outside. When we were younger, we did everything we could to be outside for as long as possible. We played games. We did sports. We chased each other. We played kick the can! We never knew what time it was. We judged the day based on when we had to go in for lunch, and then again when all of the parents started to get home from work. Nowadays, kids have cell phones to check the time. They never interact with one another in person. They sit inside and talk on the computer or play video games. It's so sad. You know you see these youtube videos of 2 year olds playing on an iPad. When I was two, I was allowed to watch one Barney episode a day and then I had to use my imagination; you know, exercise my brain!
When the time comes, I vow to let my children play outside until the street lights come on. I vow to bring back the innocence of childhood before computers and cell phones. I will teach my child how to hold a real-life conversation. I vow to teach them cursive. And most importantly, I vow to teach my children the Oregon Trail!!
So much has changed since we were all in school. In fact, I have heard that they have officially stopped teaching cursive in elementary school. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME, RIGHT? Cursive may not be used all that frequently these days with the influx in computer usage, but knowing how to write is imperative! I can remember back to 3rd grade, Mrs. Morrissey's class, when we were learning how to write in cursive. We had the big ol' pencils and the trace paper, and we wrote Aa, Bb, Cc, over and over and over again until we got the hang of it. In all honesty, I couldn't do a cursive uppercase Q if you paid me right now, but back then, I was a pro.
Then in 4th grade, when you were learning how to use a check book, you had sign your name on the check. Cursive. When you were taking CAT testing, you had to sign the scantron to say that you weren't cheating. Cursive. When you were 16 and you got your driver's license, you had to sign the little box to say that you promise you are who you say you are. Cursive. When you get married, you need to sign the marriage license. Cursive. How can they just stop teaching the youth of America how to sign their name?
And back to the topic of playing outside. When we were younger, we did everything we could to be outside for as long as possible. We played games. We did sports. We chased each other. We played kick the can! We never knew what time it was. We judged the day based on when we had to go in for lunch, and then again when all of the parents started to get home from work. Nowadays, kids have cell phones to check the time. They never interact with one another in person. They sit inside and talk on the computer or play video games. It's so sad. You know you see these youtube videos of 2 year olds playing on an iPad. When I was two, I was allowed to watch one Barney episode a day and then I had to use my imagination; you know, exercise my brain!
When the time comes, I vow to let my children play outside until the street lights come on. I vow to bring back the innocence of childhood before computers and cell phones. I will teach my child how to hold a real-life conversation. I vow to teach them cursive. And most importantly, I vow to teach my children the Oregon Trail!!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Find your happy place
There are three types of employees, in my opinion. There are the employees that define themselves based on their job. There are the ones that are able to find a balance between work and play. And there are the one's that make you question whether you want to continue working for the company because they represent the name so poorly; aka: the slackers. I have had the pleasure of interacting with all three types of employees, as I am sure you have as well. It's a very interesting dynamic when the three types come together.
What I really don't understand are the people that are married to their work. I have never been one of those people that has a hard time "shutting down" at night. Sure my mind races, and I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night thinking about work stuff, but when I leave for the night, I am done for the day. I have to be able to separate work from my home life. There is a fine line between being a hard worker, and being completely consumed by your work. I guess for some people, that kind of life is enjoyable and fulfills them. They are okay with checking emails and sending them at midnight. They are okay with following up on tasks before the sun comes up and then reassiging tasks as the sun goes down. For those people, I give them a lot of credit because they are able to dedicate themselves soleyl to a job that hopefully they love. But you have to wonder what else is missing in their life to dedicate so much to a corporation.
On the complete opposite end of the spectrum are the utter slackers. The ones that sneak in the door quietly just before lunch time (or so it seems to those of us who have been here since 7AM) and then waltz out the door at 3:30 as if they had such a long and strenuous day and that they earned the right to leave at this time. Give me a break. You may have finished everything you needed to for the day, but you sit your butt back down in that chair until your (minimum) 8 hours are done! It blows me away that people think that they can get away with not working their full 40-hours. Newsflash: your salary is reflective of a 40-hour work week. You will never hit 40-hours in a week if you are working 6-hour days. It just doesn't work out that way. On the same token, you should not be over doing it either. Working 60+ hours is exhausting and you most likely are not being compensated fairly for it.
It's important to find a good balance between maintaining a career that reflects your hard work and passion for the job, and a healthy extracurricular and homelife. You should never over do it because frankly, it's not worth it. Sure your career pays the bills and allows you to have fun outside of work, but if you never find time to do fun things outside of work, who cares how much money you make, right? And what's the point of holding onto it until you are old? Then you won't be able to do the fun stuff because you'll be too tired and worn out from life. That would be just terrible. Enjoy the fruits of your labor now, but certainly don't over do it.
We must strive to find our happy place - whether that is working oodles and oodles of hours (certainly not my choice), working the bear minimum (40-hours people...nothing less than that), or whether its working smart (getting home in time to have dinner with your loved one's), you have to do what is right for you. But take it from me, work will still be there in the morning. So if you want to get home in time to cuddle with your puppies, paint your finger nails, or catch a football game, then do it. You will have to work a little harder the next day, but so what! Enjoy your life and do what makes you happy.
Monday, October 3, 2011
THEY'RE over THERE reading THEIR email.
We have officially started a new Fiscal Year here at work! Last year is now behind us, and the new year year has begun. I thought it seemed fitting that I review some of the basics in writing emails so that maybe this year, I can file a few less dumb emails in my "Are you kidding me?" folder.
I am pretty sure we start to learn the basics of grammar in Kindergarten. For instance, we learn to use the word "to" when referring to a verb (to jump, to dance, to sing). We use the word "too" when we are talking about emphasizing something (too much, too little, too tired, etc.). And lastly, "two," as in the number. So why is it, then, that kindergartners can get this right, but managers of big corporations cannot? Or how about the ever mistaken there, their, they're. Just for giggles, let's review. "There" - use when referring to a direction. "Their" - use when referring to possession. And then "they're" - a contraction for "they + are." or a more specific example, please see the title of this blog. I am not sure why this tends to be so difficult for people, but it seriously drives me nuts.
And there is Me, Myself, and I (and I don't mean the cute little phrase). I have seen (and heard) these three words misused so frequently, that they could even warrant their own blog entry. Instead of boring you, I just ask that when you are forming written sentences with any of these three words, say the sentence out loud, because chances are you will catch your own mistake. And if you don't know if they are being used correctly, then just don't use them! Re-phrase the sentence to avoid their usage all together.
People these days are just lazy, or they are in a rush. We rely too (emphasis) much on spell check, and not enough on what we have learned in school. HELLO: spell check is not going to call you out for lacking common sense! It doesn't have the ability to identify when you put "to" instead of "too." If you hit send on that email and left off an "o," you are going to look stupid. Plain and simple. I know that sounds harsh, but I am tired of seeing emails with such disregard come through my inbox. Spell check should be used as a last resort - to catch words like success or ridiculous, both of which are spelled wrong by people all the time. It's not REDICULOUS, its RIDICULOUS!! And its dessert (after dinner sweets) not desert (the Southwest). Spell check should not be the end all.
I am not naive enough to think that every email I send is perfect; I am also not naive enough to think that there will never be another misuse of the word "their/there/they're." Our minds become cluttered with complicated and life-changing decisions, so it makes sense that the little things we learned back in elementary school might not take precedence. But I hope that this at least brought to light some of the little things that may have gotten lost over time. When used correctly, they go unnoticed. When used incorrectly, they stick out like a sore thumb. Keep that in mind today when you are sending out a mass email. Happy writing.
I am pretty sure we start to learn the basics of grammar in Kindergarten. For instance, we learn to use the word "to" when referring to a verb (to jump, to dance, to sing). We use the word "too" when we are talking about emphasizing something (too much, too little, too tired, etc.). And lastly, "two," as in the number. So why is it, then, that kindergartners can get this right, but managers of big corporations cannot? Or how about the ever mistaken there, their, they're. Just for giggles, let's review. "There" - use when referring to a direction. "Their" - use when referring to possession. And then "they're" - a contraction for "they + are." or a more specific example, please see the title of this blog. I am not sure why this tends to be so difficult for people, but it seriously drives me nuts.
And there is Me, Myself, and I (and I don't mean the cute little phrase). I have seen (and heard) these three words misused so frequently, that they could even warrant their own blog entry. Instead of boring you, I just ask that when you are forming written sentences with any of these three words, say the sentence out loud, because chances are you will catch your own mistake. And if you don't know if they are being used correctly, then just don't use them! Re-phrase the sentence to avoid their usage all together.
People these days are just lazy, or they are in a rush. We rely too (emphasis) much on spell check, and not enough on what we have learned in school. HELLO: spell check is not going to call you out for lacking common sense! It doesn't have the ability to identify when you put "to" instead of "too." If you hit send on that email and left off an "o," you are going to look stupid. Plain and simple. I know that sounds harsh, but I am tired of seeing emails with such disregard come through my inbox. Spell check should be used as a last resort - to catch words like success or ridiculous, both of which are spelled wrong by people all the time. It's not REDICULOUS, its RIDICULOUS!! And its dessert (after dinner sweets) not desert (the Southwest). Spell check should not be the end all.
I am not naive enough to think that every email I send is perfect; I am also not naive enough to think that there will never be another misuse of the word "their/there/they're." Our minds become cluttered with complicated and life-changing decisions, so it makes sense that the little things we learned back in elementary school might not take precedence. But I hope that this at least brought to light some of the little things that may have gotten lost over time. When used correctly, they go unnoticed. When used incorrectly, they stick out like a sore thumb. Keep that in mind today when you are sending out a mass email. Happy writing.
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