So last week we tackled fashion faux-pas at the local gym. I am (un)happy to report that I have no idea what impact that blog had on our fellow gym attendees as I have not dragged my butt there since it was posted. Awesome! I'd like to think that we at least brought the issue to the forefront, and each of us is a little bit closer to working out without horrible distractions - and by distractions I mean jorts.
Speaking of jorts - Sunday I had the pleasure of spending the day on the lake. WOW! My retinas are forever scarred by the insanity that takes place here every weekend. It is truly a melting pot of epic proportions. Allow me to set the stage...
First off, we have the families - "Mom," "Dad," and their offspring. The kids are jumping around and splashing, throwing water balloons, and shooting squirt guns at the twenty-somethings (who, by the way, are not having it, but we'll talk more about them later). Then there is "Dad," standing around with a Budweiser can in hand, his beer-belly hanging out over his swim trunks - or jorts, depending on the mood he is in - that are sitting just low enough that when he pulls himself out of the water and onto the boat, you get a nice view of the crack. Attractive. And then we have "Mom," in her little pink bikini (that clearly belongs to her teenage daughter), her gigantic, fake boobies, her overly tan, rubber skin, her anklet, and her Sun-in dyed hair. She's dancing off beat on the back of the boat with a Mai Tai or some other fruity drink that the teenagers next door gave her.
Next, we have the teenagers. The teenage girls are there, usually with their parents, but they walk far enough away from the family boat that you don't know which group they belong to. They do this on purpose in hopes of attracting someone their way. It is usually unsuccessful because their pre-pubescent figures don't stand a chance next to all the women that are there with their "enhancements." The teenage boys are really no different. They walk up and down the lane looking at the "Mom's" (for a complete description, see above) and completely ignoring the girls their own age. They try to attract the twenty-somethings by congregating near them, or throwing their footballs in the general vicinity of hotties - I know because I had several footballs thrown my way this weekend, if you know what I mean! :)
Moving right along...the twenty-somethings. Now this group can be classified down even further - (1) single, (2) taken and faithful, or (3) taken & unfaithful (aka: single...see 1). The taken and faithful group don't really draw attention to themselves. They sort of hang out with their friends, they goof off, but they are neither here nor there. They look at the other party-goers, but they are in no way looking for attention on themselves. Now, the other two groups single, and taken & unfaithful, are at the lake to do one thing and one thing only - party! These are the ones that make the BEST people watching - their shameless flirting, often braggadocious behavior, total diregard for classiness makes for quite the scene.
So, okay - some of these statements are gross overgeneralizations, but some of them are truly spot on! If you don't believe me, spend an afternoon on the lake and take it all in, then let me know if you too are scarred for life. Enjoy!
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