Day 2 - Perfection in the iMpeRfeCTiOn

"Life's too short to be anything but happy!"  Amen.  So why, then, do so many people focus on the negative?  Including me.  I am not proud of it.  I am not bragging about it.  I am just stating the facts.  I mean, being a Negative Nancy isn't all that easy.  Being crabby about things isn't fun.  Smiling is much more attractive than frowning, or scowling, or any of the sort.  So why do I have this terrible adherence to negative energy?

The good news: I have an awareness of my negativity, and I do (despite popular belief), have a desire to want to change.

The bad news: It's incredibly difficult and somewhat of an insurmountable challenge for me to make this change (well, looky there.  Right on time.  Cue: negative attitude).

As a result of this adherence to the negative, I like to surround myself with people that remind me to stay positive.  Sure, I have those amazing friends that I love because we agree on so many things - including complaining.  But those same people, have an amazing (and admirable) way of seeing the good in things, and opening my eyes to the Perfection in the iMpeRfeCTiOn.  Just because things don't always go the way that I planned, it doesn't mean it is wrong, or bad, or that the world is ending - even though my reaction to an unplanned result might seem otherwise.  My friends remind me that life goes on.



If only this were red wine...

Despite my negative attitude, I do try and learn from my mistakes.  I try to learn from failures.  I learn from successes too.  Part of life is recognizing that nothing is perfect - no matter how far in advance we plan them, and by we, I mean me, because I am definitely a planner.  There are always going to be times when things take on a life of their own, and we must learn to cope when with this happens.  But recognizing my my actions, and changing my actions are two different things.  It's difficult to look at the glass half full, especially when my initial thought is never full or empty, but more "why are there 4 oz. in this 8 oz. wine glass?" (Oh yes, my metaphoric glass is obviously for wine)!!   It is hard for me to take things for face value.  I am an overanalyzer by nature.  I must explore every avenue before making a final decision.  And in this exploration I consider will be impacted by my decision? How will they feel?  Who needs to be brought into the loop?  Etc.  No decision, big or small, is made without a full analysis. 
So maybe, my friends (and husband), because I take so much into consideration when making a decision, if the decision is wrong, or fails, I internalize it?  I consider it to be a personal failure as opposed to a failure due to circumstance or external factors.  I blame myself for things that are out of my control.  I am my own scapegoat.  Talk about therapy!  Man, I came to quite the conclusion during this little rant. 

Alright then, my new goal, instead of changing, is simply to try to accept the fact that sometimes there doesn't need to be a scapegoat.  There doesn't always need to be someone to blame.  I need to learn to let things that are out my control happen, and focus only on things that I can truly change.  This may not have any impact on my overall attitude (haha, see?  Back to my normal self), but I will certainly keep it in mind the next time someone pisses me off for being stupid.  Good plan.