A collared shirt. Really?

When I go to the gym, I am not there to make a fashion statement - let's get that perfectly clear right now.  I am not there to "pick-up hotties" (although they are certainly nice to look at).  I am not there to check myself out in the mirror (although I am certainly nice to look at).  And I am, without a doubt, not there to let the horn-ball teenagers stare at my hiney - which by the way happens to look phenomenal in a pair of stretchy pants so I can't really blame them, but that's neither here nor there!  My sole purpose for going to the gym is to get myself in shape and to let off a little steam.  That's it.  And by no means am I entitled to pass judgment on others at the gym.  I am not the fashion police, although Mike may beg to differ as I am constantly giving him grief about his outfit choices.  I'd like to shed some light, however, on what other people are most likely thinking along with me, and maybe how we can improve our overall gym experience one awful dresser at a time.

What is it with men coming to the gym in collared shirts?  You know, like a polo shirt and gym shorts.  That concept to me is absolutely baffling.  Sure - maybe they wore that shirt to work and they don't want to have to do more laundry.  I would rather see them in an undershirt, even the one they wore to work, than in their collared shirts.   Or even worse - khaki shorts or plaid shorts?  I literally have seen men walk around the gym in a pair of khaki shorts and cut-off tee.  What this means is that the man made an effort to put on a cut off, for whatever reason, but thought I am going to keep these super cool khakis on because they are totally awesome for the gym.  Attention all men that think this is a good look - IT'S NOT!

I have even seen men wear slides - open-toe, no back slides - in the free weight area!!  Now I am not saying that my Nikes are going to prevent a broken toe if I were to drop my 65...okay fine, 15 lb....weight on my foot, but its a heck of a lot more practical than slides.  Plus, slides are ugly no matter when you wear them, but I digress.  I am almost certain that in college you were required to wear closed-toe shoes to the gym, and chances are it was for a reason.

Believe me - women are not much better.  What is it with the women over 35 (I am being generous) wearing a sports top and no shirt?  God bless you for having the confidence to wear that, but please - save that for the privacy of your own home.  The rest of us twenty-somethings are not interested in learning what toll nature will take on our bodies...at least not yet anyways.  And ladies - what is it with your "shants?" (shants = short pants).  Please invest in a pair of Nike workout pants that at least come close to touching the floor.  I promise you - you won't trip while you are speed-walking on the treadmill with a 3 incline, so Just do it (pun intended).

And to all patrons attending the gym - do not walk around the locker room naked!!! -  no matter how confident you are in your physique.  It is just gross.  GROSS!  We don't want to see any of that...ever.  And we certainly don't want your bare bottom on the bench.  UGH.

One final note: All blow drying should be done fully-clothed and upright!  We do not want any upside-down, naked blow drying taking place in public.  That must be stopped immediately.  Your utmost compliance to this matter is very much appreciated.