Wedding season. A time for love and romance. A time for eternal happiness. A time for singing birds and melodic symphonies. Beautiful, overpriced flowers. But most of all, its a time for... BACHELORETTE PARTIES! Yes, that's right. Bachelorette parties. A night (or sometimes a weekend) of pure, unadulterated fun with a group of your closest girlfriends. It doesn't get much better than that!
Bachelorette parties come in all different shapes and sizes. Some are intimate affairs with just a few ladies sipping wine and eating cheese (....zzzzzzz....). Some are huge, blow-out bashes with handles of Vodka and tigers (wait, what?). And then there are those that find there place somewhere in the middle. I can say that my bachelorette experiences have always fallen somewhere inbetween, but I have seen, and/or heard, of all of the above taking place. One thing is for certain, no matter what - every bachelorette party will have panties (there ya go guys)! It's a must.
But have you ever been at a restaurant with your family or friends, enjoying the ambiance and each other's company when all of a sudden there is a commotion at the door? You pick your head up, your eyes dart towards the entrance, and you see it...you try to look away, pretend like it's not about to happen, but you know you are stuck...a bachelorette party has entered the building!! Their scantily clad outfits (most of whom should not be wearing), their obnoxious laughs, their sorority chants (I can say this because we have them), and their "look-at-me" demeanor. It's almost like the restaurant owes it to you to get on the PA system or post a note on the door that says: "Attention all members and guests (that's the intro at Xsport) - you are about to be completely and utterly annoyed for the next 120 minutes as there are 20 drunk girls that just entered the establishment and are looking for free handouts - drinks, food, etc. We are soooooooooo sorry, but we are an equal opportunity restaurant and we couldn't turn them away for fear of a lawsuit. Just try and ignore them or at least stare at them because you know thats what they want. Sincerely, Management." So then, you start crossing your fingers (literally if you are me), saying a couple prayers, and hoping with all your might that the large empty table next to you is NOT where they are seating the party. Just like on an airplane when the young parents and their screaming child board, and you sit with bated breath hoping and praying that they are not sitting in the same row, aisle, or even within 10 feet of you. Yes, bachelorette parties are being equated with a screaming child. Sounds about right.
I absolutely HATE being part of THAT bachelorette party. I am all about having a good time, but I am in no position to ruin someone else's night by being obnoxious. It's just wrong. I am not a fan of penis earrings (unless they are coated in diamonds - then we can talk) or condom necklaces. I am not a fan of plastic chalices (chal·ice –noun ; a drinking cup or goblet) or "to-do" lists. I am not a fan of desperation via excessive cleavage or booty shorts. BUT - I am very much a fan of super high heels!! There is nothing better than a fierce pair of stilletos. Sure your feet ache just looking at them sitting in your closet, but c'mon! They make your legs look amazing, you find yourself strutting a little sassier, and your self-esteem skyrockets. High heels MUST be worn at a bachelorette party. High heels - the answer to everything.
So listen, I love me a good bachelorette party, and there is NO CRIME in having an amazing night with your girlfriends. In fact, I encourage it. But I have come to realize that the more intimate, organized, and frankly, sober, a bachelorette party is, the better off the whole world is.
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