I am sure you have heard the proverb, "Give a man a fish. and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll eat for a life time." It's so beautiful isn't it? It teaches us that if simply hand something to someone it is only a temporary fix, but if we teach someone how to problem-solve or how to do something, then they should be set for life, right? Sometimes.
In theory, teaching someone to do something is preferred over doing it for them. This instills knowledge into people. It helps you master whatever it is you are teaching because if you are able to explain a concept to someone else clearly, then you must truly understand the material. Then there is a snowball effect. Once this person learns, then they teach someone else, and that someone teaches someone else, and so on and so forth. Knowledge can be easily spread that way. That is the "perfect scenario" situation. This strategy works very well for young people in a school setting; a structured environment with flexible due dates and many people who can help.
However, I see it a little differently now that I am an adult. First off, teaching adults anything is MUCH more difficult than teaching children - been there, done that. Adults are so stuck in their ways and think they know everything, that when you try to teach them something new or different they get scared and shut down, or they get sassy. If a man has been given a fish his whole life, then they are very unwilling to learn to fish because frankly, they think they have found the golden ticket - someone to provide them what they need forever. They think that if they get the fish handed to them, then there is no reason for them to learn to do it on their own. I have also found that it could takes hours or days to teach an adult what it takes a few moments to teach a child. So after spending countless hours teaching a man to fish, I find that man is good for a day or two. But then that man decides to take some vacation days and on this vacation, this man chooses not to practice fishing, but to completely forget everything he had learned before he left. The man comes back to the office his boss asks him to bring him some fish, and the man has already forgotten how to do it! So what does the man do? He comes back to me and asks me to teach him how to fish...again. And you would think that this man would have some remembrance of learning a few weeks back, but no. It is like starting from square one - this is a pole, this is a line, etc. We use this lesson to get the fish that the boss had asked for, the man thinks he's good to go, why? Because I just got the damn fish for him while he was "learning." Awesome.
Scenario number 2 for adults - we are able to break through the "I don't want to learn this stupid sport of fishing" barrier, and the man decides he actually likes to fish. So he practices. And practices. And practices. Until finally one day, he calls you up and starts asking you a million questions about fishing. He wants to know the whys? The whats? The hows? The "are you sures?" He becomes overly confident and wants to learn more. So now the man is coming back for follow-up lessons. He wants Advanced Fishing Training. Well, I don't know about you, but I hadn't intended on making my day job teaching and reteaching and assisting you with learning how to fish better or more efficiently. I don't need this new self-proclaimed expert fisherman coming back to me asking me for more training. I can't help but think, had I just done the fishing for him, then maybe he wouldn't be coming back to me with follow-up questions. Isn't that terrible?? I don't want to help someone because I am afraid they are going to keep coming back and coming back and coming back for more. It's like if you are one of the five recipients on an email, you never want to be the first to respond for fear that you may now own the responsibility for finding the solution to this email. Same concept (sort of).
So maybe I am an enabler? If I don't teach someone how to do something, then they will never learn. And they will keep coming to me to ask me to do it for them. Sure it may only take 5 minutes to help, but 5 minutes every time someone asks could add up. On the other side of the coin, if I teach someone how to do it for themselves, that may take some initial time upfront, but I should be able to view this as an investment; an investment into them becoming self-sufficient, and leaving me the hell alone. I don't think there is a perfect solution to this predicament. I think it is completely dependent on the person who needs help. If you think the person is competent and not all that annoying, go ahead and teach the guy to fish. But if the thought of teaching a specific person how to fish causes you to want to scream, or cuss, or throw something, then go ahead and give the guy a fish; save yourself the agony.
And if all else fails and you simply don't want to be bothered with either task, simply put up the sign outside your desk that says, "Gone Fishing..."
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